July 02--If you're praying for happy hour to return to Illinois so you can drink margaritas by the gallon, then sober up already.
If Gov. Bruce Rauner signs the bill on his desk -- and we hope he does -- it won't bring back the 10-cent beer refills, the ladies-drink-free promotions or the all-you-can-drink-for-$10 deals.
We're not spoiling for a return to the drink-till-you-drop nightlife culture that led Illinois lawmakers to outlaw happy hour in 1989. That was part of a nationwide campaign against binge drinking and drunken driving, two problems that you've probably noticed are still with us.
Since then, bar and club owners who want to lure customers with cheap drinks have been required to offer the same price all day. No after-work specials. No free drinks, refills or doubles for the price of a single. No dollar shots at midnight. Not a lot, in other words, to draw a crowd on what would otherwise be a slow weeknight.
The bill on Rauner's desk wouldn't open the tap fully. It would allow bars and restaurants to offer discounted drinks for up to four hours a day, ending by 10 p.m., and not exceeding 15 hours a week. Volume specials -- the two-for-one cocktails, cheap refills or unlimited drinks for a fixed price -- still wouldn't be allowed.
Yes, two half-price mojitos is the same as getting two for the price of one, but you wouldn't have to buy (or drink) two to get the discount. And you wouldn't have the second drink sitting there, getting warm and watery, while you gulped down the first. You could drink in moderation and enjoy the special prices. Win/win.
The bill would allow craft brewers and cocktail mixologists to showcase their pricier creations during limited hours instead of all day. It would legalize those wine-and-food pairings that are technically illegal now. It would allow bars to sell house-infused spirits.
All of those things help promote culinary tourism, which is a big deal for a rising foodie destination like Chicago, we're told. Lifting some of the restrictions will help Illinois compete with states like California and Florida, according to the Illinois Restaurant Association.
Who knew that people plan their vacations around the drink specials? We have no doubt, though, that locals plan their after-work gripe sessions around them. Either way, happy hour is bound to bring in customers (and their sales tax revenue).
For some people, of course, the whole point of discounted beverages is to consume more of them. That's one argument for the four-hour window. The bill also would require servers to complete training on how to recognize when someone has had enough to drink.
That's a good idea, but it's asking a lot of the front-line workers. The whole point of happy hour is to fill the barstools. Your harried server will be expected to police your intake while supplying you with cheap drinks, all of which probably adds up to a smaller tab -- and a smaller tip.
So yeah, this isn't exactly the Bartenders and Waitstaff Enrichment Act. Try to keep that in mind, if and when happy hour makes its comeback.
Drink responsibly. Enjoy a half-price cocktail, or two. Don't feel like you have to spend the money you saved on another one. Buy a sandwich instead. Call a cab if necessary. And leave your server a big, fat tip.
