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The Independent UK
The Independent UK
Lifestyle
Isobel Lewis

Edinburgh Fringe: Best jokes of the festival so far OLD

Steve Ullathorne

The Edinburgh Fringe has entered its final week – the exhaustion is kicking in, but the laughs are still coming.

The festival’s return has brought with it many questions for stand-ups. Do you joke about Covid on stage or not? Will people wear masks in my shows? Do audience attention spans last longer than a 15-second TikTok video?

Meanwhile, I’ve been The Independent’s reporter on the ground watching more stand-up comedy then you’d think was humanly possible.

While the official ‘funniest joke’ of the Fringe has been announced by Dave, I’ve compiled some of my favourite gags from the festival so far...

“We have about three or four more months where we can still call pregnant women ‘glowing’ before it’s a slur.” (Patti Harrison: Patti Harrison, Pleasance Courtyard)

“I just feel like zoos are the only place where you’re allowed to be anti-immigration.” (Vittorio Angelone: Translations, Monkey Barrel Comedy Carnivore)

“I’m only 23, which Forbes magazine recently described as one of the top 25 youngest ages.” (Leo Reich: Literally Who Cares?!, Pleasance Courtyard)

“I became a dad seven months ago. He’s nine years old, but I’ve only just started giving a s***.” (Josh Pugh: Sausage, Egg, Josh Pugh, Chips and Beans, Monkey Barrel Comedy)

“My favourite position is doggy style because I can giggle throughout it.” (Lara Ricote: GRL/LTNX/DEF, Monkey Barrel Comedy The Hive)

Leo Reich (Raphael Neal)

“How the f*** can you kink-shame a gimp? If anything, they f***ing love it.” (Liam Farrelly: God’s Brother-in-Law, Just The Tonic Nucleus)

“Retrain? I’m a stand-up comedian. That should tell you I couldn’t train the first time around.” (Aurie Styla: Green, Pleasance Courtyard)

“Why aren’t paedophiles more worried about nits?” (Lou Sanders: One Word: Wow, Monkey Barrel Comedy)

“If women went bald we’d make you live outdoors.” (Andy Field: Ideas (,) Man, Assembly George Square Studios)

“I occupy women’s spaces, like the candles section at TK Maxx.” (Jordan Gray: Is It a Bird?, Assembly George Square)

“I read this book that helps you quit smoking but I’m dyslexic so now I do heroin.” (Josh Jones: Waste of Space, Pleasance Courtyard)

Aurie Styla (Hannah Layton Management)

“Turns out America already has it’s own answer to Glenn Moore and that answer is ‘no’.” (Glenn Moore: Will You Still Need Me, Will You Still Feed Me, Glenn I’m Sixty Moore, Pleasance Courtyard)

“I’m not listening to my body. My body’s always telling me to grow one long hair in the middle of my neck.” (Sam Campbell: Comedy Show, Monkey Barrel Comedy)

“Have you ever seen a photo of a baby that’s so ugly all you can do is compliment the phone?” (Emmanuel Sonubi: Emancipated, Underbelly Bristo Square)

“England have got a drink that I’ve never heard of. It’s called a half pint.” (Susie McCabe: Born Believer, Assembly George Square Studios)

“I actually had my first ever epileptic seizure during National Epileptic Week, which was fitting.” (Jake Lambert: Fitting, Pleasance Courtyard)

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