Athena Kugblenu: Patriarchy is putting Jane Austen on £10 notes the same time as bringing in contactless.
Christian Talbot: Sometimes even I don’t understand feminism. And I’m a guy.
Jez Watts: I don’t know why, but for some reason all the cheeses in the dairy aisle have been named after porn search categories: Vintage, Natural, Hard, Semi-hard, Mature, Blue Vein, Goat.
Felicity Ward: I have a lot in common with post-first world war Germany. We both went through a great depression in our 20s. Then in our 30s a nice man came along. Great facial hair. I’m hoping for the best.
Angela Barnes: When I see Donald Trump I get the same thought in my head as I get after a particularly painful bikini wax. Bush wasn’t that bad.
Ken Cheng: In school I had the nickname “the human calculator”, which meant bullies would come up to me, say the number 5318008, lift me upside down and not let me go until I said the word “boobies”.
Aatif Nawaz: Just learned what perineums are. Let’s just say it’s nothing to do with Nando’s.
Rosie Jones: During birth, my shoulder got stuck coming out. Well, it was the 80s.
Matt Rees: No good at talking to women. I’m 28 and recently my grandmother and I had the “are you gay?” conversation. She isn’t.
Chris Turner: “Never Apologise! Never Explain!” – Sorry, that’s my motto.
