It’s totally understandable why someone you were once inseparable with might fade out of your life.
People move cities, change jobs, have children. Or maybe they embraced the paleo diet while you embraced the cronut craze. Inevitably some friendships are made for a stage of life rather than a lifetime.
The forgotten birthdays and missed milestones make it seem all the more impossible to make contact out of the blue. Sure, Facebook tells you they danced at their cousin’s wedding or started a podcast about flightless birds, but liking the odd post is not quite the same.
I’m not suggesting suddenly spamming all your old friends, but some stand out from the past. If you find yourself stalking them on social media (exes excluded) or reminiscing about the good times you had together, that’s probably the best gauge that there’s something there worth revisiting.
So if you’re under 40 and the idea of actually talking on the phone sounds terrifying, how about sending them an email or a DM? The new year is a good time to say “Hey, long time no see, how about that pandemic?”
No need to explain the extended silence; it’s safe to assume they feel the same way, so it’s unlikely they’ll hold it against you.
There’s no particular script to follow. I prefer to skip the boring stuff like career moves or house upgrades and jump into more important achievements, like mastering the DIY lockdown haircut and coming fourth in the work step competition. Think of whatever bound you together in the first place and you’ll figure out what to say. If in doubt, talk about Squid Game.
It could be a one-off interaction, or it could spark a back and forth like old times. Either way, it will remind your old friend that despite the time passed, you still value them.
