We're a country divided, but the day after the first presidential debate, we can agree on one thing: Moderator Chris Wallace had his work cut out for him.
Repeated interruptions by President Donald Trump and a strikingly combative debate had citizens calling for a mic-mute option and complaining that Wallace wasn't up to the job of reining in the candidates.
We want to help. So in the interest of civil discourse and national unity, we drew up this list of dream moderators _ either fictional or actual _ who could really get the job done.
JUDGE JUDY
Adept at eye rolls, watch-tapping and sniffing out lies from a mile away. And you know she wouldn't hesitate to cut a mic.
CHRIS HARRISON
Hosting 24 seasons of ABC's "The Bachelor" has honed his ability to re-ask the same question multiple times and remain unflappable in the face of drama queens of the highest order.
SAMUEL L. JACKSON
A popular pick among meme makers but only if he stays in "Pulp Fiction" character.
LORI LIGHTFOOT
Just to hear her say, "Keep Chicago out of your lying mouth" in real time. (A Republican mayor could moderate the third debate to keep things fair.)
JERRY SPRINGER
In case people start throwing chairs.
LISA VANDERPUMP
Squabbles are nothing new to this Real Housewife, whose breezy style (barely) conceals an iron will. Think Margaret Thatcher set loose on Beverly Hills. She's got this.
TYRION FROM 'GAME OF THRONES'
On "GOT," he fended off any jibes about his short stature with rapier wit and always gave as good as he got. Is it too much to ask to see him go up against modern-day power brokers?
SIEGFRIED & ROY
Siegfried Fischbacher and Roy Horn retired after Horn was injured by a tiger in 2003, but in their day, the illusionists blended smoke and lasers, sequined costumes and exotic animals in their glitzy Las Vegas show. Horn died in May from COVID-19, but Tuesday night's circus/debate really could have used this team's lion-taming and magic skills.
OPRAH
What this debate needs is some simple loving kindness _ delivered by one of the smartest, toughest interviewers around. Extra points for probing questions, meaningful silences and a finale that makes you cry/touches your heart.
CONNIE SCHULTZ
The Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist (and wife of Ohio Sen. Sherrod Brown, a Democrat) is highly qualified _ and Tuesday night she actually volunteered for the job, tweeting, "I'm 15 minutes away from this debate site. Happy to moderate, like a woman would. Call me."
AMY POEHLER AND TINA FEY
These two aren't intimidated by politicians and are expert in both mocking and questioning them. Imagine the memes.
