SPOILER ALERT: This blog is for people watching Downton Abbey series six. Don’t read on if you haven’t seen series six, episode four.
Thomas is the butler! At last! Now for some fun! And Harriet Walter! And she’s being set up against Miss Moneypenny! Hooray! Ah, at least there was some entertainment to be had here. For a few moments at a time at least.
Still, we hurtle here, there and everywhere at breakneck speed unable to keep up with who has been given which cottage and who is still under suspicion of what nebulous crime.
Poor Sgt Willis is one of the busiest policemen in the kingdom. One minute he’s investigating the murder of Mr Green, the next he’s trying to find Mr Spratt’s nephew (what has happened to this storyline?), the next he’s investigating something about the jewels that Miss Baxter may or may not have stolen with Mr Peter Coyle. I love Molesley saying: “I dare say this Mr Coyle was a handsome devil.” Molesley, look in the mirror. You’re a bit of a handsome devil yourself.
The business with Gwen the housemaid-made-good was rather excellent. And gave us a chance to see the one thing it was always worth tuning into Downton for: Thomas Being Evil. There was fantastic real tension here, with an outsider exposing the secret hopes and dreams of everyone below stairs. Thomas (Rob James Collier) was excellent. He’s too afraid to get out of service. But he resents anyone else who has the guts to do it. “Is she going to come down?” Now we get to the real stuff of Downton: status play. Topped off with an excellent callback to Lovely, Lovely Sybil. With this bit you did good, Uncle Julian. (Don’t choke. I give praise where it’s due.)
Soon, though, we were back to the usual demented to-ing and fro-ing. We like Mr Talbot the racy racing car driver (for entirely shallow reasons). But this car carry-on. Mary has a very good reason to not like cars: her husband was killed in a driving accident. Would she really be keen to get close to someone who races cars for a living? Still, nicely played by two ridiculously attractive actors who do look pretty damn good together. “I hope this means you’re boiling up to make a pass before we’re done.” “Will you accept?” “No, but I shall enjoy the process enormously.”
Cousin Violet, meanwhile, was turning Corbynite! Resist centralised government! Put the power in the hands of the people! And so the hospital nonsense drags on. Anna’s miscarriage has been averted, with Lady Mary channelling Sybil’s kindness. (Let’s hope she also drags the pantaloons out of the dressing up box next week.) But the Earl is suffering Mysterious Pains. There has got to be a funeral by the end of this series. Will it be him or Cousin Violet? Or will Andy finally fend off Thomas’s incessant offers to “help” him by hitting him over the head with a tea tray?
One final point. Would anyone have said “Mr Bates thinks I ate all the pies” in 1925? This is not the Keith Lemon Show. Actually it is a bit like the Keith Lemon Show, but in olden days costumes.
Random subplot alert
Baxter is an appalling character, but I’m not sure whether this “I stole some jewellery once” plotline has legs. We need to see Evil Mr Coyle to judge for ourselves. (I really hope he is truly, truly evil. Paging Sir Anthony Hopkins!) The Baxter subplot has got quite messy. Cora already knows anyway, doesn’t she? Because Baxter was forced to confess it to her. So this is all a bit Groundhog Day. Again. I did love Molesley’s portentous line, though: “At least he can’t hurt you now …” I really hope we are not building up to anything other than a happy ending with Molesley. It would be too much.
Surprise character development
I hope we are seeing the start of some interesting developments for Thomas. Could he become so disillusioned that he massacres the entire household? Could he call O’Brien back from India to help him burn the place down? Could he hack off his dodgy hand and put it next to Cora’s face on her pillow for her to see when she wakes up? This is the sort of resolution I’m after. Something is definitely building up. It could go either way. I do hope he doesn’t decide to become a Kind Butler.
Golden eyebrow of the week award
This wasn’t so much an eyebrow moment as a full-body emotional shakedown. The award goes to Cousin Violet for her use of the term “gear stick” to suggest utter and total obscenity:
“Mary needs more than a handsome smile and a hand on a gear stick.”
“I’m surprised you know what a gear stick is.”
“I know more than you think.”
It was like Fifty Shades of Sherry.
Sorry, could you just repeat that awkward line of dialogue
- “I once met a man who spent his time importing guinea pigs from Peru.” Oh, yes, that was Melty-Faced Patrick.
- “Have you got your passport?” “I shall need Ariadne’s thread to find my way out.” Vintage Cousin Violet as she faces the servant’s quarters.
- “You couldn’t be harder on those potatoes if you wanted to make them confess to spying.” Daisy’s mash is truly mashed.
- “Keep your pity, Mr Molesley. You need it more than I do.” I love it when Thomas is nasty. More nasty Thomas!
- “A monkey will type out the Bible if you leave it long enough.” I love it when Mary is nasty to Edith! More nasty Mary!
Next week ...
The minister of health is visiting! Edith has a date! Mr Carson has noticed how busy Sgt Willis is.
