It’s no secret that flattery is a direct route to Donald Trump‘s heart. Lovebomb him and he’ll soak it up like a giddy schoolgirl and be putty in your hands. Foreign leaders use it as a tool, Republicans use it to keep their jobs, and, for those in his inner circle, Trump adulation now comes as easily as breathing.
And so it was without even a smidgen of shame that, during yesterday’s Cabinet meeting, Secretary of Agriculture Brooke Rollins casually told Trump he’ll be remembered in the same light as George Washington and Abraham Lincoln:
Brooke Rollins: "I do believe we're in a revolution. 1776 was the first one. 1863 or so with Abraham Lincoln was the second. This is the third with Donald Trump leading the way." pic.twitter.com/FK3Qx7nhMX
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 26, 2025
“I do believe we’re in a revolution. 1776 was the first one. 1863 or so with Abraham Lincoln was the second. This is the third with Donald Trump leading the way.”
Pass the barf bag. To be fair, Donald Trump will certainly go down in the history books as a memorable president. But unlike Washington and Lincoln, it won’t be because of his intelligence, courage, or steadfast convictions. It’ll be for being a tyrannical despot who shredded the Constitution, obliterated the rule of law, soiled America’s international reputation, delivered millions into abject poverty, and for his administration’s vile un-Christian cruelty.
Gotta keep that ego inflated
Elsewhere in the meeting, Trump’s butt received further tongue-polishing from this gaggle of quisling yes-men. Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer told Trump he needs to “see your big, beautiful face on a banner in front of the Department of Labor, because you are really the transformational president of the American worker”. Barf.
Steve Witkoff described working for him as “the greatest honor of my life”, and a starry-eyed Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent trilled: “Our country has never been so secure thanks to you” and thanked Trump as he’s “brought us back from the edge.” Double barf.
If it’s any consolation, none of these people actually believe the nonsense they’re spouting. They see Trump as we do, a barely functioning wreck of a human being that has no business being anywhere near the levers of power, or indeed the levers to anything other than possibly a soda dispenser.
Even so, he’s their route to big bucks and personal power, and to achieve that, they’re more than willing to bend down, limber up that tongue, and give the presidential buttcrack a thorough cleaning-out.
