Oh, the irony. Apparently, the new ideal of beauty is – wait for it – the “natural look”. Natural face, natural eyebrows, natural skin and, one assumes, a natural glow at having achieved all this … naturally. In beauty doublespeak, this means spending huge amounts of cash.
According to cosmetic surgeons, (the yardstick by which all standards of beauty should, ahem, be measured) the modern ideal of female beauty is fading fast. And what would that ideal be? For those no-nonsense folk who assume it is whatever you want it to be (in practice, this usually means a T-shirt and jeans with the knees knocked out from crawling after children/pets/dirt/your whole thankless life) let me womansplain it to you.
Basically, enlarged breasts, lips and arses are out. In the past year, the American Society of Plastic Surgeons recorded a 56% fall in buttock implants and an 11% increase in breast reductions. Kylie Jenner recently announced that she had reversed a procedure to augment her lips. So it must be true.
What is being requested instead is the “natural look”. Achieved by cosmetic surgery, naturally. Now, apart from the oxymoronic absurdity of modifying oneself to look more like … oneself, Wide Awoke is braced for this to be hailed as good news for women. As if the concept that a natural body or lifestyle will cost you is a victory for feminism.
Everywhere you turn there is evidence of the wonders of this so-called natural life, and it always comes with a price tag and is usually marketed at women. Natural parenting, natural wine, natural hair and natural foods. Consider all the natural products out there (usually in no-frills, clean, white packaging) boasting to be, say, 97% water (which always make Wide Awoke wonder why you wouldn’t just go for the free, 100% version … otherwise known as water). Even breastfeeding, as natural an act as a body can pull off, increasingly comes with an off-putting supplies checklist including high-tech pumps, nursing bras, pillows and storage bags. The truth? You need your own body, time and some respect.
A real natural look cannot be commodified. It is stained teeth and a monobrow. A splash of water on a cheerfully lined face and hairy armpits. A look, funnily enough, that has always been despised by the beauty industry, capitalism and the patriarchy.
