An extraordinary contretemps concerning prosecco has erupted – and that’s perhaps the most middle-class sentence you’ll read all week.
British dentists and brewers are accused of launching an “Anglo-Saxon crusade” against top-selling prosecco, after issuing warnings about how it rots teeth, producing a “prosecco smile”, due to its sugar and high acidity. (They also warned against champagne, fizzy drinks and smoothies.) The Italian agriculture minister dismissed the warnings as “fake news”, while the governor of the prosecco-producing region, Veneto, had a cheeky pop about Brexit, saying Britons needed it to “return to smiling”, while an Italian dentist cast aspersions on British tooth-brushing.
I like to think we’ve all learned from this, not least that Italians really don’t like their drinks being criticised. (Perhaps not quite the same thing, but I don’t think you’d get this fuss from the makers of dandelion and burdock.)
However, the point about dental hygiene rings true. Doesn’t all alcohol involve sugar and acid, which need to be vigorously brushed off? From my experience, too many years of collapsing into bed in wine stupors, too often forgetting to brush my teeth, contributed to my eventually landing in trouble with the dentist and coming perilously close to being included in extreme dentistry manuals.
Now I’m a living, breathing cautionary tale: a middle-aged woman with dental braces, which look incredibly sexy, though only if your definition of “incredibly sexy” is Zippy from Rainbow (don’t be shy, I know you’re out there). As for prosecco rotting teeth – the problem seems to relate to any booze. At the risk of coming across as unpatriotic, I’d have to side with the Italians and pronounce prosecco not guilty.
