Three long years ago - and don't ever accuse the Spin of harking back to the glory days - England embarked on the Ashes with five series wins behind them, a captain who had been in the job for two years, a settled side and an attack based around three quicks, a swing bowler and a steady left-arm spinner. The comparisons with South Africa ahead of Thursday's first Test at Lord's are spooky, except that the South Africans have won six and drawn one (in India) of their last seven series and their captain, Graeme Smith, has been doing the job for five years rather than two. In other words, they are England-circa-2005-plus: a jaunty tag the Spin feels sure will catch on as the tour develops.
Plenty of ink has been spilt, and justifiably so, over the pace attack of Dale Steyn, Morne Morkel and Makhaya Ntini, a trio who could well leave England batsmen pining for Chris Martin, Kyle Mills and Jacob Oram. The obsession is understandable: fans in this country have been deprived of raw pace for a while now. But the fascination with speed and the hand-wringing about England's batting problems (the Spin pleads guilty) are in danger of overshadowing South Africa's other great strength: their top six. And you suspect the tourists will be happy to keep it that way.
For a start, South Africa don't have England's problem of passing 400 in their first innings: they have achieved the figure as many times (four) in their last six Tests as England have in 20. And, with the possible exception of Ashwell Prince, their batsmen are driving the stattos delirious with Wisden-referencing pleasure.
Smith has scored 810 runs in 11 Test innings in 2008 and may just be approaching the form that brought him two double-centuries the last time he toured England, when Nasser Hussain unwisely referred to him as "wotsisname" in the pre-series press conference. His born-again opening partner Neil McKenzie has averaged 77 since returning to the side, and is apparently less bothered these days whether the loo seats in the pavilion are up, down or taped to the ceiling, which will be a blessed relief to his team-mates (of which more below).
Jacques Kallis - oh for a player of his stature and solidity in the England side - has scored six Test hundreds since October and gives his side balance with his generally boring but reliable quota of fast-medium awayswingers. Hashim Amla averages 58 in his last 10 Tests, having averaged 25 in his career until then, and earlier this year hit 159 and 81 at Chennai. And AB de Villiers, for so long patronised as the skilled all-round sportsman with the good eye, became a proper Test batsman when he hit an unbeaten 217 in eight hours at Ahmedabad after India had been skittled in 20 overs.
Prince, pencilled in for No5, is a chink of light for England: since making 123 not out against West Indies at Durban, his Test scores have been 10, 38, 2, 23, 5, 2, 16 and 22 not out. But he is nothing if not gritty, and could yet become for England's bowlers an indigestible filling in the Kallis/de Villiers sandwich. And that's before we get to international cricket's most experienced keeper/batsman at No7, Mark Boucher.
What are England left to cling on to? Perhaps a couple of things. If the ball swings at Lord's, Ryan Sidebottom and Jimmy Anderson could yet cancel out Steyn and Co. (If it doesn't, well, don't go there.) And South Africa do, very occasionally, collapse. They lost to West Indies at Port Elizabeth in December after making 195 in their first innings, and were unaccountably skittled for 170 by Bangladesh in Dhaka in February before recovering to win the game with ease. These may be straws, but they need clutching. Otherwise England cricket fans could be in for a long month.
Extract taken from The Spin, guardian.co.uk's weekly take on the world of cricket. Subscribe now - it's free.
