When my first piece was published in 1998, my stories appeared on paper that was the size of a pillow case. There was no button the reader could click on to tell me what they thought of me after they’d read the headline. If people didn’t like my stories, I may – a week later – have gotten a letter in the mail.
The letter would usually be written either in large CAPS or tiny spidery handwriting that slanted left and was hard to read. Sometimes a biblical bookmark would be included in the envelope. I wrote for the paper most days, on all sorts of topics. I would receive, on average, two letters a year.
This means that, in my formative writing years, I was given space to grow in confidence as a journalist, believing that only two people – who were possibly unhinged – didn’t like what I had to say. But at least they sent me bookmarks!
Then the internet happened.
These days, young emerging writers face what can seem like a formidable opposition: internet trolls. Or people on social media telling them their work sucks, or that they’re not good enough, or that their opinion doesn’t matter. In real time. And in public.
In a world that consistently favours the voices and opinions of men, digital harassment hits young women the hardest. So how do you find your voice and stay motivated as a writer when there are strangers shouting you down from the get-go?
Girls Write Up, the day-long Stella prize schools program held last week in Melbourne and this week in Sydney, brought hundreds of aspiring teens from public and private schools into the company of established women writers, to discuss how to learn your trade as a writer – and how to persevere when the going gets tough.
If you have a teen in your life and she wants to be a writer, here are six takeaways from the day.
1. Don’t disappear
Teen girls hear other girls’ voices all the time – but once you go into the media, they begin to disappear, said keynote speaker, writer and activist Clementine Ford.
A comprehensive analysis of news reports by the Global Media Monitoring Project shows that the majority of women portrayed in the media aren’t quoted as experts or leaders in their field. In fact they usually only make it into the paper if they’re the victims of some grisly crime; if they’re someone else’s wife or mother; or if they’re quoted in a vox pop, or included in a picture, that illustrates a trend.
The media reflects back to us the world we think we live in, but it doesn’t have to be that way, said Ford. She advised the school-age audience to start pitching stories to newspapers and websites now – because girls’ voices are too rare, and they need to be heard.
2. Don’t read the comments
The first time your piece is published is an exciting moment for all writers, but online it doesn’t take long for the accompanying burst of pride to be soured. Reading the comments can make you wish you had never written the piece in the first place.
Many of the speakers at Girls Write Up had lived experience of being trolled, and found it easier to just ignore them, not engage with the haters.
Writer and actor Nakkiah Lui put it succinctly: “I never read the comments. You don’t talk to a random in the streets, so why read the comments?”
Nicky Minus is a cartoonist from Sydney whose work appears in The Lifted Brow, and who has received more than her fair share of online hate recently. “There will always be people who dislike your work and you’ve got to fight through,” she said. “It’s good to have the internet because you can put your work out there and hide [if you need to].”
3. Fight back
Hiding from trolls can be a valuable strategy, but some arguments are worth having.
Most of us have stuck our heads above the parapet with a Facebook comment at one point or other – whether it’s in a thread about refugees, or LGBT rights, or capital punishment – and suddenly found ourselves in the middle of a blue.
The natural response might be to duck out but, Ford says, stick up for what you believe in. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
“[Facebook attacking] is one way that girls start staying silent,” she said. “You have to fight not just the original fight, but this onslaught in the comments thread. It gets easier to keep doing it the more you are abused, because you realise that if that’s all they have got for you, then they don’t have much at all.”
For women, abuse might involve being called ugly, or fat, or a slut, or a whore. “Once we stop caring if people think we’re ugly, then it’s OK. It hurts a lot more to stop using your voice,” said Ford.
Another insult that gets flung at women writers is that they are “attention seekers”. The phrase is intended to point out a character flaw, said Ford, but attention is crucial if you want to be heard – and sometimes you have to seek it.
“Whenever I assert myself or stand up for other women, I am often told I am just seeking attention. This is really dismissive – it’s saying that the things [women] care about are frivolous and don’t deserve attention,” she said. “But what’s wrong with getting attention about something you care about? Calling someone an attention seeker is an insidious way of taking power away from women who are using their own voices.”
4. Put the time in to get better
A teacher at school may have told you that your writing needs work, but that’s okay: if you’re passionate about something, and then put in the time, you will improve.
Bailey Sharp, a cartoonist and animator, said: “Sometimes you have to have do 10,000 hours to master something, so you just have to keep working and working. I always think I’m terrible, but maybe in 10 years’ time, I’ll be better. You never want to be complacent with your work. It took me a while to find what I wanted to say and force stuff out, but you should just live a little and let it happen.”
Nicky Minus was discouraged by a teacher in school, and urged the audience not to put too much pressure on themselves. “I was never best drawer or artist, and it took me ages to get confidence to start drawing again after school. Don’t compare yourself to others, because you’ll keep practicing, growing and changing. Don’t give up.”
5. Draft like no one is reading
If you write to please other people, said novelist and journalist Emily Maguire, you’re doomed to failure.
“My escape from pleasing others was writing. It was a world of one – and it was such a relief,” she said.
“Then my dream happened: I crossed over from private writer to public writer. And it was a shocking thing to realise people were really upset about it.”
What followed for Maguire was a clash between “the me that wanted to please people, and the desire for people to take me as I am. It was a really hard thing to realise I wasn’t pleasing everyone.
“I had to face a fundamental truth about writing: not everything has to be for everyone. There’s not one book ever published that has been universally loved. There are a lot of haters and a lot of shruggers. And it doesn’t matter if the blokes don’t like it; it doesn’t reduce the value of the work if guys don’t read it.”
6. Write what you know
Your parents or friends may freak out if you’ve written something personal, but often the most powerful writing is based on experience.
Novelist Kirsty Eager told the teen writers that being full of excessive emotion is “not a bad thing ... Writing can be heady – better than reading. It’s an outlet, a means of expression.”
She wrote a lot as a teenager, she says: “I needed to write; without it there was too much anger.”
And readers can recognise authentic emotions in writing, too – and the personal can be political.
Essayist Fiona Wright, nominated for this year’s Stella prize for her book about living with an eating disorder, Tiny Acts of Disappearance, said science has shown that reading can trigger an empathetic response. With good writing, you can feel what the writer, or the character, feels.
“I hope my experience might be a mirror for others,” she said, “because empathy can be a radical act too.”
• Learn more about the Stella Schools program here
