THE DETHRONING
If there’s one thing The Fiver likes, even more than finding a stray pork scratching under its desk, it’s proper football. You know, proper football. Proper football! And there’s nothing more proper in football than doing the properest thing of all, which is properly putting the ball in the net in order to declare yourselves the proper winners. And The Fiver is fairly sure Atlético Madrid did that three times on Wednesday night – it counted a well-executed move after Adrián’s error, a sweet finish and then a clinical breakaway – and thus scored three proper goals to Liverpool’s two proper goals. Did they deserve it? That depends on what matters to you. Did they win? That depends on the thing that matters the most, objectively, so yes they did.
Liverpool only have a runaway league title tilt to make sure of now – wider events permitting – and perhaps that fed into Jürgen Klopp’s somewhat uncharitable reaction. “When I see players like Koke, Saúl, [Marcos] Llorente, they could play proper football and not stand in their own half and play counterattacking football,” he wailed. “It doesn’t feel right tonight. I realise I’m a really, really bad loser.” At least he was up to scratch on the self-awareness front. But presumably he missed the fact that those massed ranks inside Liverpool’s half did not prevent them from putting in 35 shots – and, it must be said, playing very well indeed for the majority of the game – with only slack finishing and good goalkeeping from Jan Oblak denying them.
Atlético might be good at our definition of proper football but they can’t be much cop at proper anti-football, which The Fiver always thought amounted to throwing a blanket over the thing with a few Emmanuel Adebayor-style kung-fu kicks thrown in. But then there was something odd in the water all night and it clearly got to Diego Simeone, usually pugnacious to a fault, when he modestly offered up the idea that Liverpool had been unlucky to be denied the extra 30 minutes Atlético had received to score a few proper football away goals. It is a kink in the system for sure but, look, they’ll pull through.
Perhaps what upset Klopp the most is that, after two season finales that have built up to a crescendo, this one – coronavirus or no coronavirus – looks like fizzling out in a slightly odd way. Liverpool are brilliant and will win the league: nobody is about to argue with that. But the high-adrenaline Anfield days and nights that really get the old place going – the ones where miracles are made and the rest of the world can do one – will have to wait for a while now, and the Klopp era had brought back a heady diet of those. In the end, though, Liverpool could field 11 Adriáns and still parade the Premier League trophy in front of their fans – or at least the seats they’ve purchased – before the season’s end. They’ll have done enough to win and that, in the end, is what proper football looks like. Even, deep down, to Jürgen himself.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“They are great players, but I’m going to say it – they lost their humility. Because, after they won at home, they did a lot of tweets, a lot of [Instachat], a lot of words, a lot of this and that. Whether it’s their sports director, the players, or the club’s official [Instachat] account, we all saw it. We kept that in our mind, and I think it all gave us a good boost” – PSG’s Presnel Kimbembe on sticking it to Erling Braut Haaland and Borussia Dortmund in Big Cup by mocking the Norwegian’s celebration from the first leg. PSG won 3-2 on aggregate and then proceeded to party with their fans outside the Parc des Princes, which had been closed due to the coronavirus pandemic.
FIVER LETTERS
“It’s actually going to happen, isn’t it? Your tireless STOP FOOTBALL campaign is finally going to happen. What do you fancy trying to stop next?” – Mark Thomas.
“Fear not, I have found a solution to everyone’s two most pressing current concerns: the coronavirus pandemic and its effect on football. Qatar are building airtight stadiums for the World Cup so that they can be fully air-conditioned to control the temperature. All we have to do is ship out all the players from the top five leagues to quarantine en masse in those stadiums. Matches will be held every two hours round the clock and can be fully refereed by VAR, because it’s one less person at risk and also it’s just the future, accept it. This will have the added benefit of the vast majority of the population suddenly needing to work from home immediately to watch football 24/7” – Matt Fox.
“If you take the first line of Phil Neville’s quote – ‘you’ve got to look beyond the criticism’ (yesterday’s Quote of the Day) then you get what is, or at least should now be, The Fiver’s motto. Keep reaching for that rainbow” – Aidan Brolly.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Aidan Brolly.
NEWS … AND WELL, IT’S MAINLY JUST NEWS AGAIN
Real Madrid have sent all their players home to self-isolate after a member of the club’s basketball team tested positive for coronavirus. While La Liga has suspended all matches for at least the next two weeks, Madrid’s Big Cup return leg at Manchester City is now expected to be postponed too. Across the Atlantic, MLS is suspended for the next 30 days as well.
Three Leicester City players have displayed symptoms of coronavirus and been isolated from the rest of the squad.
Juventus defender Daniele Rugani and Sampdoria’s Manolo Gabbiadini have tested positive for coronavirus.
Wigan left-back Antonee Robinson will undergo a medical procedure to correct an irregular heart rhythm.
The Football League’s review into the expulsion of Bury last August has landed.
And Big Phil Neville’s future as England Women’s head coach is in the balance following their dismal SheBelieves Cup defeat to Spain. “I’ve got 100% confidence in my own abilities as a manager,” he blurted after their seventh loss in 11 matches.
STILL WANT MORE?
Liverpool’s performance against Atlético Madrid was their best for ages but the joy of knockout football is you can be great and still lose, writes floating footballing brain in a jar Jonathan Wilson. While Barney Ronay offers his take on Atlético’s Anfield heist.
The Spanish press verdict on Atlético.
Marcus Christenson has the lowdown on Manchester United’s Big Vase opponents Lask and how they fought back from the brink of bankruptcy.
Who should England’s attacking midfielders be at Euro 2020 (if it takes place)? Martin Laurence looks at the contenders.
Jonathan Liew has another rake over Tottenham’s Big Cup demise and says this is as vital a moment as ever.
And here’s this week’s Classic YouTube.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
