The reputation of Stranger Things’ mop-haired star Finn Wolfhard as the coolest kid on the planet will be delivered a body blow by his appearance in this deeply naff feelgood dogcom that tells the interconnected stories of several pooches and their humans in Los Angeles. It makes Marley and Me look like Citizen Kane, and is actually pretty creepy, in the way that only aggressively life affirming movies can be.
You get the sense that it was written for an all-star cast, but then, well, Jen is a more of a cat person and Eva Longoria was available. Longoria plays Grace, the new adoptive mother of an adorable six-year-old girl who is A Little Bit Sad but otherwise shows no signs of trauma or loss. (Because God forbid anything like a believable human emotion get in the way of the uplift). Mother and daughter bond over an overweight pug they find lost in the park. The dog’s owner is a retired English professor (Ron Cephas Jones), helped by a pizza delivery kid (Wolfhard) in his search for the missing pup. Adam Pally plays a slacker musician left holding the doggie when his frazzled sister gives birth to twins. Vanessa Hudgens is a barista who finds purpose in life when she volunteers at a dog rescue centre, looking after a chihuahua with a hole in its skull.
There are a couple of nice touches: Tig Notaro is nicely deadpan as a dog psychologist who finishes every other sentence with “that’ll be $350”. But the actors play second fiddle to their four-legged co-stars, cast for maximum emotional manipulation. There’s really not much for the humans to do, other than flash brilliant white smiles, making the film feel like the world’s longest toothpaste advert. And it’s a toothbrush you’ll be reaching for after all so much sugary sentimentality.
