Do you know more about London than Zac Goldsmith? – quiz

Zac Goldsmith is stumped by London trivia questions on the BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire Show

Years from now, we’ll be able to look back at that clip of Zac Goldsmith in the back of a taxi on Victoria Derbyshire’s show, and pinpoint it as the exact moment he stopped being a legitimate mayoral candidate. It wasn’t just his failure to correctly answer the bulk of the cabbie’s London-centric questions, but the manner in which he did it. He began by aloofly picking invisible strands of cotton from his trousers, and ended it an angry, sweaty, babbling mess desperate to justify all the gaps in his knowledge. It was excruciating to watch. So, chances are you already know more about London than Zac Goldsmith (even if you live in Daventry). But how much more? Here’s a quiz:

1. Which tube station comes next: Bank, Moorgate, Old Street ...

   1. King’s Cross St Pancras

   2. Angel

   3. Monument

2. How much does an all-zone Thames Clipper single ticket cost if you use an Oyster card?

   1. £7.20

   2. £8.20

   3. £5.45

3. How many stations have the word “Clapham” in their title?

   1. 3

   2. 4

   3. 5

4. Complete this famous tube catchphrase: Mind the ...

   1. Gap

   2. Rats

   3. Tourist’s massive backpack

5. 

   What is the name of the convenience store in EastEnders?

   1. Lo-Cost

   2. Minute Mart

   3. Tesco Express

6. What colour was Hugh Grant’s front door in the film Notting Hill?

   1. Blue

   2. Red

   3. Yellow

7. Which famous Bob was rumoured to have played the saxophone on Gerry Rafferty’s Baker Street?

   1. Monkhouse

   2. Holness

   3. Carolgees

8. In the 2016 movie London Has Fallen, where does Gerard Butler claim that terrorists live?

   1. Fuckheadistan

   2. The USS Arsehole

   3. The Former Yugoslav Republic of Wackidonia

9. How many bars are there in the Houses of Parliament?

   1. One

   2. Two

   3. Eight

10. 

    Which of the following albums does not feature Battersea Power Station on its cover?

    1. Animals by Pink Floyd

    2. Quark, Strangeness and Charm by Hawkwind

    3. St Radigunds by Spirogyra

11. Which of the following is not a disused tube station?

    1. Marlborough Road

    2. Wellington Road

    3. Brompton Road

12. Which of the following has not at one point been the official name of the London Eye?

    1. The GlaxoSmithKline London Eye

    2. The EDF Energy London Eye

    3. The Coca-Cola London Eye

13. How much does an unlimited cooked and continental breakfast cost in the Southgate branch of Harvester?

    1. £12.99

    2. £10.50

    3. £5.99

14. Which of the following is not a real church in south-east London?

    1. Holy Ghost Zone

    2. Mountain of Fire and Miracles

    3. Terrific Victory Temple

15. From which James Bond film does Forest Hill’s video rental shop take its name?

    1. A View to a Kill

    2. For Your Eyes Only

    3. From Russia With Love

16. Which of the following dishes has not spawned its own annoying east London hipster cafe?

    1. Fish fingers

    2. Breakfast cereal

    3. Poached eggs

17. 

    What is cockney rhyming slang for “phone”?

    1. Dog and bone

    2. Moan and groan

    3. So alone

18. What is cockney rhyming slang for “wife”?

    1. Empty life

    2. Butcher’s knife

    3. Trouble and strife

19. What is cockney rhyming slang for “stairs”?

    1. Apple and pears

    2. Grizzly bears

    3. No one cares

20. What is cockney rhyming slang for “years”?

    1. Morbid fears

    2. Monkey’s tears

    3. Donkey’s ears

Solutions

1:B, 2:A, 3:C, 4:A, 5:B, 6:A, 7:B, 8:A, 9:C, 10:C, 11:B, 12:A, 13:C, 14:C, 15:B, 16:A, 17:A, 18:C, 19:A, 20:C

Scores

1. 20 and above.

   A perfect score! You are nothing less than Barbara Windsor herself.

2. 15 and above.

   Great work! Are you a cabbie? Have you done the Knowledge?

3. 0 and above.

   Poor show. You’re Zac Goldsmith, aren’t you?

4. 11 and above.

   Not bad. You’re an ordinary Londoner with no time for anything but yourself.