Do you know a wipe-out from a brain bucket? Take our ski slang quiz to find out

Steeze, personified. Photograph: Marcin Wiklik/Getty Images/iStockphoto

1. If you were to “wipe-out”, what might have happened?

   1. You’ve fallen asleep while skiing.

   2. You’ve beaten all the other competition on the slopes.

   3. You’ve fallen down spectacularly.

   4. Your trousers have fallen around your ankles.

2. What does “chatter” refer to?

   1. Attempting to talk while skiing.

   2. The sound of snow falling.

   3. Your teeth if it gets a bit too chilly.

   4. The vibration of your skis.

3. To “jib” is to:

   1. Make gentle fun of someone you’re skiing with.

   2. Ski on something that is definitely not snow, like a rail.

   3. Dance while you ski.

   4. Ski up a slope rather than down.

4. If you landed a trick spectacularly, what might someone say you did?

   1. Stomped it.

   2. Crashed it.

   3. Planked it.

   4. Trashed it.

5. If someone calls you a “shredder” on the slopes, how should you feel?

   1. Offended.

   2. Morose.

   3. Proud.

   4. Confused.

6. If you’re into freestyling, you’re often found:

   1. Going without skis entirely.

   2. Staying home.

   3. Rapping in the resort bar.

   4. Practising your tricks.

7. What does “off-piste” mean?

   1. Falling off a cliff.

   2. Skiing off the official track.

   3. Snowboarding backwards.

   4. Offending someone you’ve met in the resort bar.

8. What’s a cooler alternative to the word “helmet”?

   1. Brain bucket.

   2. Noggin net.

   3. Bonce holder.

   4. Head case.

9. In skiing, what does it mean to have “steeze”?

   1. You’ve got all the hyped ski clothes.

   2. You’re a smooth, carefree skier.

   3. You find it easy to chat people up on the chairlift.

   4. Your skis are brand new.

10. What’s the slang name for a classic fireside after-ski snack of crackers, chocolate and marshmallows?

    1. A donut.

    2. A crackerjack.

    3. A marshmallow sandwich.

    4. A s’more.

11. If you were lucky enough to own your own skis and a selection of other gear, what would you call it?

    1. Your kit.

    2. The goods.

    3. A quiver.

    4. Your drip.

12. Which phrase means that your skis are parallel? (Which is a good thing, by the way.)

    1. Rulers.

    2. French fries.

    3. Straight and narrow.

    4. Train tracks.

13. What would you call the activities after a long day on the slopes?

    1. Après-ski.

    2. Sleeping.

    3. Post-ski session.

    4. Faire la fête.

14. If you were to pull off something very cool, what might someone call your trick? (And you!)

    1. Janky.

    2. Ripe.

    3. Hard.

    4. Gnarly.

15. What might you call a fresh blanket of lovely, perfectly skiable snow?

    1. Loose dust.

    2. Fresh salt.

    3. Surf.

    4. Pow-pow.

Solutions

1:C, 2:D, 3:B, 4:A, 5:C, 6:D, 7:B, 8:A, 9:B, 10:D, 11:C, 12:B, 13:A, 14:D, 15:D

Scores

1. 11 and above.

   You’re a ripper! Hopefully you spend as much time practising your skiing as you do getting to grips with the lingo, but we’re sure you’re an expert at both!

2. 0 and above.

   Wow, what a gaper*! Maybe you’re new to the slopes. Maybe you don’t do slang. Either way, it’s not a great score … (*someone who’s clueless on the slopes)

3. 6 and above.

   Not bad … Maybe you’re not an expert in ski slang, but that doesn’t mean you’re not ready to be a park rat. Just spend some time brushing up before you strap your skis on.

• New national restrictions apply from 5 November, please consult government advice before planning to travel

Hit the slopes
Book your space on the slopes at crystalski.co.uk