The two sides seem miles apart and the language between them is harsh. After years of uneasy coexistence, a split seems inevitable.
If Brexit seems like an acrimonious divorce, that’s because it is – and at least one expert in the field says the negotiating teams could learn a thing or two about the art of the civilised breakup.
Here are top tips for a successful split by Emma Gill, the director of divorce and family law at Vardags solicitors.
How are you going to break the news?
“You cannot put a price on goodwill. Work out how you are going to tell your soon-to-be ex that it’s over. Do you need the support of friends and family when you do it? I have clients who told their partners on WhatsApp. There should be personal contact, but maybe later on. Goodwill in a divorce … goes an awfully long way.”
What about the money?
“Get your finances in order before you go; gather together all your paperwork. You can’t make a decision until you know what your financial outlook looks like.”
Practicalities
“Brexit is like a popularity contest between two parents who are appealing to their children [their electorates] to ensure they get the right answer. It’s a really uncertain time. [It’s more difficult] if you can’t sit down as a couple and explain to your children what their life will look like in future. Do it before anyone takes any precipitous action … Create as much certainty as possible for everyone as you can – so that they can get on with their lives. I would be very surprised if the EU and UK were like parents holding hands at a friend’s wedding in the future.”
Keep talking … and don’t write silly letters
“Keep a line of communication open. If communication was great before, you probably wouldn’t be having a divorce. Every single fractured relationship comes down to one little seed – of someone feeling they are being taken for granted [or exploited]. Anger is a perfectly natural and understandable emotion and it’s right to be able to express it, but you need to do so in a reasonable way. Don’t write silly letters to fuel the anger. If you keep talking it will put you on a better path as separated parents.
“Every case is settleable. The biggest barrier is where one party just does not want to deal with the matter. They bury their head in the sand like an ostrich. You need a neutral third party to highlight where parties are being silly with each other, to sketch out what a settlement would look like. There’s value in creating a bit of pressure for everyone so that they can only leave [the proceedings] when everyone [reaches an agreement].”
