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Liverpool Echo
Liverpool Echo
National
Wesley Holmes

'Divorce Doctor' reveals why older couples more likely to split

A top 'divorce doctor' has revealed the big reason why more and more older couples are calling quits on their marriages.

Dr Sue Palmer-Conn, AKA 'the Divorce Doctor', stepped into the world of divorce counselling in 2012 after going through her own divorce at the age of 50, following 25 years of marriage.

Originally trained as a health and wellness coach, she turned to working with people on the brink of divorce after finding few options available here in the UK.

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She said: "I kept seeing people going through divorce, so I decided to find a suitable course to get the right information I needed to help them. There was nothing really in the UK, so I did a course in America.

"Unfortunately, at the moment, there are more and more people going through divorce later in life. Younger people are delaying marriage or not getting married at all, meanwhile the older generation is the fastest growing demographic for divorce in the UK.

"It's mainly to do with the baby boomer generation, people in their 50s and 60s looking at what's happened to their lives. They get to 50, 60 - I've even had people in their 70s - their children are grown up, and they look across the breakfast table and think to themselves: I've still got another 30 years left, and I don't know this person, I don't like this person.

"It's not a decision you take lightly. I work a lot with women going through menopause, which is a huge change mentally and physically, and they come through that and think 'what have I done with my life'? Especially if they've been stay-at-home mums and they've supported their husbands through their careers. They wake up and think 'it's my time to shine, it's my time to do something for me', and if the husband isn't on-board, that's when the divorce starts."

As a specialist divorce counsellor, Sue, 71, from Blundellsands, works one-to-one with people who are going through divorce, and also with couples who want to salvage a struggling relationship.

She set up the Divorce Coaching Academy in September 2021, and has trained 25 new divorce counsellors so far. She was named as one of the UK’s most inspirational and dynamic businesswomen by the F:Entrepreneur's #ialso100 campaign, which showcases the talents of 100 female business founders each year.

She said: "People come to me lacking confidence and lacking self esteem and that's what I work on more than anything. Giving them a voice, helping them to feel good about themselves and take care of themselves. So often women put themselves so far down the list of care that they forget to take care of themselves.

"I love my work. I'll never retire. I'll carry on until I've trained enough people to do what I do. I would like to get at least 100 coaches so that there's an even spread over the country, and to raise awareness of the fact that divorce coaches are an integral part of the divorce process.

"If you have got your emotions sorted out, you can concentrate on the business of the divorce, not the story of it."

And the key to a successful marriage? "Plan the marriage, not just the wedding."

She said: "Keep the connection going, go out of your way to make sure you keep connecting, do things together but also separately, make compromises and put each other first."

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