Mark E Smith ... soon to appear on BBC3.
We've all heard that the Lord moves in mysterious ways, and now the latest word is that Jesus will appear in the ravaged form of Mark E Smith in the sitcom Ideal on BBC3 - and before Easter, too. The Saviour, aka the Fall's frontman, is due to pay small-time dope-dealer Moz's grimy bedsit a visit, and punish Johnny Vegas's character's meaningless existence with some divine retribution.
Never let it be said that Smith hasn't had any acting experience. In addition to his cameo as a punk-gig punter in 24 Hour Party People - shouting abuse at Steve Coogan's Tony Wilson - he has also played the Caterer, a mysterious and faintly sadistic character, in the nuclear-themed shorts Glowboys and Midwatch.
There are also his roles during his tenure as a chart-bothering indie pop star during the late 80s, when the Fall made videos - before Smith lost his teeth and looks.
But forget acting: acting up has increasingly been his forte. Until the past few years, his wilful mischief-making was confined to John Peel sessions and Fall recordings - where you never know just what is around the corner - and creating havoc on stage, none more so than in 1999 when Smith engaged in fisticuffs with his entire band in New York.
It was on the Adam and Joe Show that Smith really came into his own as an all-round TV entertainer. The comedy pair visited him in the guise of the Record Police. He did what any sensible person would do: booted them back down the stairs.
And Mark E's gurning, slurred Newsnight appearance following the death of John Peel was priceless. "Eh, are you the new one? Are you the new DJ?" he asked Gavin Esler.
He almost behaved himself when he was given the task of reading the football scores on BBC TV, only to tell presenter Ray Stubbs he looked like he'd escaped from Strangeways with his "number one haircut".
We all need Mark E Smith's blend of high surreality and hard reality in our daily lives. It can only be healthy. The BBC should give him his own show - they could call it Hex Enduction Hour. "People only need me when they're down and gone to seed, 'cause I'm a hip priest," Mark E Smith has said. It's time to bow the knee.
