Grace, 39, Sheffield
Occupation Co-director of a charity that promotes philosophical conversation
Voting record Labour when younger, now Green. “The climate emergency is the pressing political issue”
Amuse bouche She is “pretty atrocious” at handling chopsticks. “So when I realised I was going to have to eat using chopsticks with a stranger, I thought I’d have to distract with conversation”
Tyler, 31, Manchester
Occupation Senior data analyst
Voting record Having come to live in the UK from New Zealand, he votes for the policies that he feels are best at the time. His last vote in the UK was Conservative
Amuse bouche Tyler was a child actor. He auditioned for the role of … drum roll … “Harry Potter. I narrowly missed out to a certain Mr Radcliffe”
For starters
Grace I’d heard Tyler was an immigrant to this country, and I thought he would be a person of colour. He was smiley, super friendly.
Tyler It was obvious that Grace was articulate and well-informed, and it was going to be an interesting night.
Grace The restaurant was beautiful. It’s one of those places with a big open kitchen, and we had the tasting menu.
Tyler The food was delicious. She’s a vegan but wasn’t the sort of person who wanted to shove her morals down anyone’s throat – I think those were her words, not my vulgarity.
The big beef
Grace We talked about migration. One of the things we disagreed on perhaps was the kind of risks migrants pose.
Tyler People who are more conservative worry about change happening in their area; they may feel they can’t relate to their surroundings so much. People who are more open and welcoming should acknowledge that people do feel a sense of loss and unease around change, and it doesn’t necessarily come from a place of xenophobia or racism.
Grace He was quite sensitive to the distinction between legal and illegal migrants, and I don’t think that distinction is as sharp. He spoke about the financial cost for him to move here, and that some migrants come without incurring those costs. But it’s not as though, for example, small-boat arrivals come here without incurring costs; sometimes it costs lives.
Tyler I’m not saying legal routes are easy. But it costs a lot to house and process illegal migrants, and there’s plenty that could be done for people already in this country with that money. It comes back to the idea of assimilation: do people want to come here and be part of society? And there is a security risk, though it’s minor.
Grace The migrant crisis has been weaponised by the Tories. We basically kettle loads of innocent people to try to stop a couple of bad apples.
Sharing plate
Grace We both did potentially “Mickey Mouse” degrees – philosophy for me, drama for him.
Tyler I don’t agree with the idea that the only degrees that have value are ones with a linear progression into a specific job. People shouldn’t underestimate the value of going to university to learn how to think, not just to learn, say, accounting. The biggest thing acting helped me with is communication.
Grace It would be great for Rishi Sunak to speak to someone like Tyler who now has the kind of career I think he would approve of. An arts degree can be a great education.
For afters
Tyler No one is responsible for paying for my life – and I shouldn’t be responsible for paying for anyone else’s.
Grace I’m more of a collectivist. Homelessness, the need to flee a country – these are things that are basically handed to us, especially as the climate crisis tightens its grip. So I’m cautious about drawing distinctions between the deserving and the undeserving poor.
Tyler I do believe in the welfare system. People can be dealt a bad hand, and it doesn’t benefit anyone to have people at the bottom really struggling.
Takeaway
Tyler It’s incredible to talk to people with different views. It’s a skill to be able to have a debate and defend your side without attacking the other. You’re bound to find more overlaps than you imagined.
Grace When you have conversations like this so many of the hot potatoes cool down. We were bemoaning the fact that there are so few opportunities in modern life to have a genuinely curious chat with someone else about why you’re different.
Additional reporting: Kitty Drake
• Grace and Tyler ate at Australasia in Manchester.
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