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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Erica Buist

Dining across the divide: ‘He said he was vegan; my heart sank’

Richard and Will sitting at a restaurant table by a window
Richard (left) and Will. All photographs: Tom Pilston/The Guardian Photograph: Tom Pilston/The Guardian

Richard, 68, Gloucestershire

Occupation Retired presentation coach

Voting record Mostly Tory. Also Lib Dem and the Monster Raving Loony party when his local incumbent needed “a kick up the bum”

Amuse bouche Four of his five children are aged 26 (“I have a daughter and boy-girl twins, then I divorced and remarried a woman with boy-girl twins of the same age”)

Will, 31, Oxford

Occupation Occupational therapist at a forensic mental health centre

Voting record Green, and tactically Labour

Amuse bouche Five years ago he quit his job and went to Spain, Mexico, Cuba, Colombia, Peru and Argentina. His Spanish is good, his accent somewhat chaotic

For starters

Richard The restaurant had nice views across the river, though there was a couple on a park bench who were practically having sex.

Will When I arrived, I got sent to a room that turned out to be hosting a wedding reception. So I crashed a wedding en route to having an argument.

Richard Will said he was vegan; my heart sank. But he didn’t try to throw it down my throat and we ended up having the same dessert. I had a salmon starter and roast pheasant.

Will I had potato gratin with swiss chard, then crispy falafel with spinach. Dessert was caramelised pineapple with coconut mousse.

The big beef

Richard I voted leave and my wife voted remain, so we cancelled each other out. Will talked exclusively about how Brexit affected him; he’s got a Spanish girlfriend and he’s upset that if he wants her to come and live with him, he has to marry her.

Will The reason my partner can’t live with me is because UK law says she’d have to earn over £38,000 a year. So I’ll probably leave the country, and the NHS will be another worker down.

Richard He did tell me about an aspect I’d never heard about: that Brexit would cause a shortage of scientific research because of difficulties getting work permits. I couldn’t find any evidence that’s happened. My stepson works for a scientific research company in London and that seems to be a United Nations!

Will He thought of it from the point of view of his peers, like his remainer friend who responded to Brexit by buying a house in France – but maybe if he sought opinions from outside his own cohort and age group, he would see how many opportunities have been taken from young people.

Sharing plate

Richard Will is struggling to pay his rent. When I left home, my dad said, “You should pay in rent per month what you earn per week.” Of course it’s different now. I own a property that I rent out and the return on the investment is better than having money in the bank, but only just.

Will I spend a third of my wage on my rent. There’s a big shortage of staff where I work and a lot of my friends can’t afford to live here any more.

Richard I know there are moves afoot to streamline the planning process. That will speed up building homes but also might lead to some ugly houses.

Will That seems low priority for people who don’t have anywhere to live. I don’t really care if a house is ugly, I care if it’s safe.

For afters

Richard The Rwanda policy strikes me as cack-handed, but I firmly believe it’s a deterrent. A migrant from central Africa who wants to pay people-traffickers to get him across the channel is going to be discouraged if he’s just going to be shipped back where he came from.

Will It hasn’t deterred anyone so far, has it? I used to mentor a young refugee, a victim of human trafficking, and all he wanted was to work and he wasn’t allowed. We agreed that if people want to contribute to the economy, why would we want to stop that? Foreign workers not being able to bring their families to the UK is just absurd.

Takeaways

Richard I liked him and sympathised with the things he’s struggling with. I felt that our differences didn’t matter a jot. We were talking and eating for two and a quarter hours.

Will I thought he was lovely and willing to listen. I know the whole idea is dining across the divide, but we don’t have to focus on what divides us. I think we have a lot more in common with each other than we think.

Additional reporting: Kitty Drake

• Richard and Will ate at Cherwell Boathouse in Oxford

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