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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Sport
Harry Pearson

Didn't he used to be rubbish: Michael Ballack of Germany

Michael Ballack
Michael Ballack has figured heavily at the World Cup – on the touchline. Photograph: Joern Pollex/Getty Images

A controversial final selection perhaps, but most German fans would agree that Ballack's superb non-appearances on the field of play has been absolutely crucial to their team's success in South Africa.

Freed of the glowering presence that irritated team-mate Lukas Podolski so much during a qualifier with Wales he slapped his chops, Joachim Löw's side has blossomed.

Sadly during Ballack's time at Chelsea, Blues fans saw altogether too little of the Chemnitz-born midfielder's impressive wearing-a-suit-and-clapping skills and rather too much of him wandering suavely yet glumly around the field like a Glyndebourne picnicker looking for another glass of Pimms to tide him through the endless Wagner.

So lethargic during his first season, Ray Mears could tell where north was by looking at the lichen that had grown on him, Ballack bizarrely insisted on playing whenever possible at Stamford Bridge, even when the club tried to replace him with Steve Sidwell.

A series of coaches, meanwhile, failed to spot that the German's best position was actually standing to the right of the tunnel with his arms folded, occasionally attempting an unpractised smile at the cameras. Sadly it is now too late for Chelsea to use this newfound knowledge as Ballack has gone to Bayer Leverkusen on a free.

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