Books live disturbing lives of their own. How random last week to find that my novel, As Seen on TV, had managed to have its day in court in the hands of billionaire Hans Rausing.
I wonder why Rausing chose my book. I'd like to think he was reading it, but maybe he was using the cover, with the speech bubble I Love It When a Plan Falls Apart, to communicate something? His life has very publicly fallen apart.
I shouldn't judge him by the cover of my book. He is apparently an avid reader. Why read As Seen on TV, though? It is not a book club book. It is a head-trip: a satire about borderline personalities in the distorted TV realities of today.
The plot is dark, rooted in my family's experiences of falling apart. It is my response to my sister having kidney failure at 27 and refusing a transplant. She would not let me or anyone talk her round. I could not deal with that point-blank denial and wrote the novel to tell her how I felt, all the love, fear, guilt, anger.
To speculate on whether an absurd novel influenced Rausing would be ridiculous. I feel sorry for him. How will he recreate a meaning to his life even if he rehabilitates himself? I can empathise. I know where the loss of all meaning can lead.
• As Seen on TV by Chris Kerr, is being republished as an ebook by Alma Books on 30 July 2012, £7.99.
