A contender arrives for Press Release of the Year. "Media alert," begins the the email from Helena Dahlstrom, who asks: "So how is Sven-Goran Eriksson coping these days? Has Eriksson's strong personal brand helped him keep cool while his personal life has been under intense media scrutiny? Has he been able to hold the team together?" Helena, your point. "Branding gurus Thomas Gad and Anette Rosencreutz are available for comment on personal branding ..." Thank you, Helena, that will be all.
George Carey went to Canterbury as leader of the blethering halfwit wing of Anglicanism, and that is how he plans to depart. In a St George's Day speech, Dr Carey said the disestablishment of the church would "undermine civilised society" while "honesty, faithfulness, respect and love of one's neighbour would be threatened". This created a stir in Wales, where the disestablishment happened nearly a century ago without the place becoming a paradigm of post-apocalyptic chaos. Conspiracy theorists interpret the remarks as an attack on Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Wales and a contender to succeed him. But this, we feel, does an injustice to the power of the Carey intellect.
Seldom does it fall to us to help our friends in New Labour, so when a chance comes along we snap it up. Former director of policy and campaigns, Nick Pecorelli, loudly claims to have set up a "fair trade" clothing company, and on Monday went to tell former colleagues at Millbank about it, promising a 20% discount if they entered the word LABOUR in the promotional code section of his website. But New Labour is a party for the many, not the few. So anyone interested in Nick's schmutters should go to hug.co.uk and do the same.
A traditional facet of Sicilian life infiltrates Skye, where businessman George Kozikowski has taken up kidnapping. Or rather lambnapping. He has taken 14 sheep hostage and demands a £2,700 ransom for their safe return to owners Highlands and Islands Enterprise. Mr Kozikowski impounded the livestock, whom he accuses of trespass, by erecting barricade fencing around his garden, and insists HIE pay £50 for the return of each, plus a £2,000 donation to charity. HIE has given him a 24-hour ultimatum to return them, warning of legal proceedings if he does not. But Mr Kozikowski sticks to his guns (literally, one fears). "The local police and crofters have told me I am well within my rights. The sheep are staying." We hope to bring you more on this as the situation develops.
We are asked to point out that the complaint to the PCC about claims that Mr Tony Blair tried to hijack the Queen Mother's funeral has nothing at all to do with Alastair Campbell's feelings about the fact that the story's original author, Peter Oborne, wrote his unauthorised biography. This we are happy to do.
