· The special relationship, meanwhile, grows stronger by the day. Bill Green emails to report that his wife, a US national, recently went to Minnesota to visit family, and tried to donate blood. This offer was rejected by the American Red Cross because she had lived the UK in the past three months and was at risk of having CJD. "We're both shocked," he writes, "that the blood of a UK citizen is considered unacceptable for donation in the US." It does seem ungrateful, given so many British citizens were prepared to spill blood in the cause of US imperial ambition, Bill, but don't be too shocked. It's only two years since thousands of Americans cancelled holidays here through fear of catching foot and mouth.
· Matthew Bulbeck of Pims PR, hear this and hear it well. We don't have the strength to open your email - subject header: "Henmania Symptoms Demand Official Medical Recognition" - let alone to reprise its contents here. But, Matthew, if you send us anything again we'll be straight round your office with the new Diary enforcer, the Gaffer, who will wish to give you a slap.
· News from the north-east of Alan Milburn, that great lover of domestic harmony. One of Alan's last duties before quitting the cabinet was to appear on Bishop Auckland general hospital radio's Tracks of My Years show, choosing his six favourite records. Alan's list, which includes tracks by the Pretenders and the Beatles, may be marginally less embarrassing than the drivel chosen on Desert Island Discs by Mr Tony Blair; and it is isn't for us to ridicule a person's musical taste anyway. But Peter Sarstedt's Where Do You Go To My Lovely? I mean, really, Alan. Really.
· I am sad to learn Nigel Dempster has been banned for two years for driving while very, very drunk. Nigel is predictably chastened by the experience. The day he was convicted, he referred to Freddie Windsor being "horizontally refreshed", while yesterday he led his Mail column with news of Prince Harry driving away from a polo match rather quickly. Polo fans may well "have watched in amazement" as Harry "sped away in a VW Golf, leaving a trail of dust", Nigel. But at least they didn't watch in amazement as he turned over a green Honda Accord, and left it marooned on a pedestrian crossing awaiting removal by the police.
· The Today programme and ITV news were among yesterday's baffled recipients of an email from the irksome Tory, Roger Gale. It contained an image of a gentleman lying on a beach wearing nothing but two carefully placed sombreros. It's always the churchy ones who delight in this sort of stuff, of course, but Roger's decision to compound the idiocy by appending a faux apology ("Forwarded in error - but be amused anyway!") reminds us how specially tedious he remains.
