The funniest standup I’ve ever seen …
John Kearns doing an unfinished joke about hiding in a moon crater waiting for Richard Branson.
The funniest sketch I’ve ever seen …
Róisín and Chiara with a mouth full of massive marshmallows speaking all posh and saying how Bath is a beautiful cathedral city.
The funniest book I’ve ever read …
Ross Kemp on Gangs (hardback). I don’t know who did his research, but I don’t even get a mention.
The funniest TV show I’ve ever seen …
Tash and Ellie’s new show on the BBC is so funny I forgave them for trying to steal my purse at a festival.
The funniest meal I’ve ever eaten …
I went to a pop-up artisan restaurant in Dagenham called Nappy Rash and they gave me a vanilla yoghurt in a Sudocrem pot.
The funniest person I know …
Jack Rooke is a bloody good laugh, even though he keeps saying I’m his mum.
The funniest item of clothing I’ve owned …
Someone gave me an open-toe Ugg boot for Christmas last year.
The funniest hairstyle I’ve ever had …
I had a beehive once. I looked like a cross between a Beefeater and a Wotsit.
The funniest dream I’ve ever had …
I dreamed I was in that cartoon Garfield, but the cat had the face and singing voice of Mick Hucknall of Simply Red.
Diane Chorley plays Assembly George Square Studios, Edinburgh, 1 to 25 August
