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Shaun Keenan

Derry foster mum to 39 children on how she 'loves making a difference' to their lives

A mother who has fostered 39 youngsters has told how she loves having the opportunity to "make a difference" in their lives.

Ann Marie Coyle, from Derry, began foster care for children with her husband Gary in 2001 when she was only 26.

Having no children of her own, Ann Marie told MyDerry that entering the fostering process "was something I always wanted to do."

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It was so rewarding to help children, she said.

The 47-year-old told this publication the couple had fostered 39 children, including short-term and long-term placements.

Ann Marie explained how she began her fostering experience through the North West Romania Fund.

She said: "A little girl came over to us from Romania and she came over for three weeks in the summer and three weeks in the winter.

"She eventually went back to Romania and then I went over there and saw her but when I went back I saw that there was an advertisement for fostering.

"We went through the assessment and we stopped halfway. I'm not going to lie, the assessment is very intense. There's no stone unturned.

"And I decided that I would stop the assessment halfway through because I didn't know at that stage whether I was at the right stage of my life.

"But with the child that I was caring for coming back and forth between Romania, I thought to myself about a year later that I could do it. I thought to myself that I would be able to cope with it and I would be able to cope with the fact that a lot of the children go back to their birth parents or they move on.

"And it was only after I completed the assessment that I understood the way it was because after all there are wee children vulnerable."

Ann-Marie said she received her first 'long-term placement' three months after completing her assessment.

She said that she "has never looked back" and has called for younger people to consider becoming foster carers as there are severe shortages due to the impacts covid has had on the process.

"I would encourage anyone who is even thinking about this to go for it because while all of these wee children have their own baggage, you have an opportunity to make them feel safe and give them a second chance at life," she said.

"I can't say out of the 39 children that I've had to date that two of them have been the same because they haven't been. Every one of them is unique in their own way.

"What I'm not trying to say is that over the last 21 years it has been easy. It hasn't been. It's a rollercoaster journey with it all but when I look at some of the children that came and stayed with me, they are in their late 20s and 30s and some of them have children of their own and are doing amazing.

"When you see the outcome, the positives far more outweigh the negatives."

And at 47, Ann-Marie said she has no plans to stop giving back to children in most need any time soon.

"I just can't see myself stopping," she added. "I just can't imagine that."

"Myself and Gary have worked really well as a unit with these children over the years and I love being able to help.

"Gary goes out to work and I am able to help some children get ready for school and send them on their way and when Gary comes back, he would help me put the children to bed. It's absolutely brilliant. I think it works because we both enjoy it.

"That's not to say that I don't understand the sacrifices that are being made by us both. I see people who are around a similar age as me, friends of mine.

"Their children are all grown up and they're going away on holidays and it's not as easy as that for me and Gary but we know what came with this.

"I always say when you go into fostering that you have to take rough and tumble along with it and I would never have believed anyone 21 years ago if they had told me that we'd have fostered 39 children.

"People have to have a lot of time, it takes a lot of patience and care and there are challenges, but the personal rewards are fantastic; being able to make a difference."

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