A song about Blue Monday, to the tune of New Order’s Blue Monday. Because you can never have enough Blue Monday. Apparently.
Dear Blue Monday… [Clears throat]
How does it feel
To treat people like you do
When you’ve sprayed your guff upon us
And told us to be blue
I thought surely I was mistaken
I thought the claims absurd
To tell me how I should feel
Tell us all how we should feel
How does it feel
To dictate the national mood
Based on nothing of substance
Just a need to be in the news
I’d hoped I was mistaken
I thought I’d misheard the words
But you tell me how I should feel
Tell us all how we should feel
It’s been pointed out before now
It’s just a campaign to plug vacations
During the quiet season
But what the hell, it’s all content
And I still find it so hard
To swallow what is claimed
But still you insists on saying
Just how I should feel today
I see a bull**it in the media
I can and shall object
But if it wasn’t for my misfortune
I’d be a calmer person today
I still say you’re mistaken
I think your claims absurd
To tell me how I should feel
Tell us all how we should feel
[Disclaimer: This is adapted from the lyrics of an existing song. If you’ve read this far and still don’t know what it is, there’s not really a lot of point in clarifying.]
Dean Burnett ‘s book The Idiot Brain is available now in the UK, USA, Canada and many other countries.
