EastEnders likes its heroines blonde and brassy, from Peggy Mitchell to Shirley Carter. So with the click-click of high heels, the latest in a long line of women as strong as their peroxide wiggled into Walford in Thursday night’s episode.
Effortlessly played by Denise Van Outen, Karin is a slightly tongue-in-cheek, glamorous businesswoman who dishes out more lingering looks than Roxy Mitchell’s had cocktails. A saucy mare of the highest order.
The ancient law of EastEnders dictates that no blonde may cross the Square without falling prey to London’s answer to Don Draper, Max Branning. One glance at Karin, widow of the mysterious Trevor Smart, and Max is hooked. This sexual baked bean of a man has an almost comical effect on the ladies: he only has to look at them and they’re lured to his darkened lair where all their clothes fall off.
It happened to Vanessa Gold (Zoe Lucker), who was an earlier prototype of Karin. She only popped to in to buy a car, but ended up tearing down Max’s curtains and trashing the place because she discovered he was playing away. Remember the legendary “bubbly in the fridge” meltdown? Oh, and don’t even start on the story of Lucy Beale, improbably attracted to her best mate’s dad and cut down in her prime.
Max’s latest romantic conquest set out her stall early on. “So you’re the decision maker,” pouted Karin, with one eyebrow permanently aloft, as she flogged off her dead husband’s garage. “You don’t need to run anything past your wife or anything?”
Oh hello, investment-based sexual tension, which was ramped up a notch when Karin closed the deal. “Why don’t we take this over the road?” she smirked. “See if there’s anything you fancy.” And she wasn’t talking about one of Carol’s bacon butties. This was classic Something For The Weekend, wink-wink Denise Van Outen flirtation of the kind not seen since the close of the Jamiroquai years. Well it worked, for off they went to Max’s entrance hall of lust for the inaugural tearing-off of each other’s clothes.
It only took one episode to see that Karin is a glimmer of hope, bringing light relief on a heavy-going week in Walford when Kat had a visit from the social, Carol was the bearer of bad news and Stan was battling both Aunt Babe and the Grim Reaper.
But what happens next is important: Karin cannot be tossed into Max’s trail of women. DC Emma Summerhayes and Lucy were killed off and Tanya left the Square after too many years of living with a disdain-face on every time her husband walked into the room. Then there was his secret wife Kirsty, whose sole purpose in life was to turn up at the car lot in fancy underwear and strip off on the desk. Kierston Wareing, who played her, was capable of so much more but remained shackled to boring Max-chasing instead of getting her teeth into a big storyline.
Let’s hope Karin doesn’t go the same way. Denise Van Outen may not be in it for the long haul, but she’s a natural, and here to stir things up with her complicated backstory. Besides, Walford could do with one more strong woman who’ll give the likes of Max Branning a taste of his own medicine. Yes, Shirley Carter remains hard as acrylic nails, Linda’s strength is more the keep-your-chin-up type and Kim Fox is as fierce as her fashion sense. But with reigning troublemaker Ronnie Mitchell still confined to a hospital bed, there’s a great opportunity for Karin to step into her shoes. Then kick them off and get down to business. All hail the new Dirty Den, the soap goddess EastEnders has been waiting for.
