Have you ever tried one of those infuriating "chat to a customer service rep online" services that so many businesses offer these days? It's usually a nightmare - the staff on the other end - if they are real - are heavily scripted and rarely helpful. Forget the idea that everything's faster on the net - these things are more like a call centre in slow motion.
A colleague sent me the transcript of an infuriating conversation with a leading computer vendor. The question - can I buy my mother a laptop for her birthday and get it delivered to her home address?
The answer? Well, why not just buy it and take it to her... or, perhaps, it would be easier if she just bought it herself.
The transcription:
Customer: Hello, I need to buy a laptop for my mother, can I buy using my billing address but get it delivered to her?
Agent: Hello.
Customer: Hi.
Agent: Which system are you buying?
Customer: Inspiron 1501
Agent: Due to security reasons we would ship to the system where the card is registered to. Once you receive the system you can give it to her.
Customer: She lives 600 miles away, so that's not going to be possible.
Agent: Its after you receive the laptop you will go and meet her and give her the laptop. So once you receive it you can go for your mother and give her the laptop.
Customer: Thanks for the advice, but it's not possible to do that. Would you recommend that she should buy her own birthday present, then?
Agent: That is more advisable
Customer: Thanks, I'll tell her that.
Agent: On whose name would the order be
Customer: Well, it will be her machine, but I want to pay.
Agent: Does she have a credit card?
Customer: No, and it's a present for her.
Agent: So when you receive it you can go for your mother and give her the laptop on her birthday.
Customer: It's the other end of the country. It's 600 miles away. I can't go there.
Agent: oh, which country is she?
Customer: Scotland, and I'm in England. It's a very long way!
Agent: All right. Then you can call the sales line and get it delivered to that place.
So, the real answer was "yes, you can get it delivered to a different address". Of course, this sort of thing happens all the time in many walks of life.
But there's a certain irony in a technology company creating a system which feels more like chatting to Eliza - or getting stuck inside Zork.
