Deborah James wants to have 'one last cuddle' with her kids before she 'slips away'
Deborah James has planned her death and wants to "slip away" after having "one last cuddle" with her children.
The 40-year-old shared that she has started her "to-do death list" and says that she wants to die listening to her family's "banter and the normal buzz of life".
The school teacher turned podcaster told The Times: "It's been hideous telling my children. My husband Sebastien has been incredible, he has dropped everything and is with me 24/7.
"My first thought was [that] I don't want my children to see me like this. I didn't think I would be able to speak to them without crying, but I'd love one last cuddle with them.
"My first thought was [that] I don’t want my children to see me like this. I didn’t think I would be able to speak to them without crying, but I’d love one last cuddle with them."
Deborah said how she wants to get Hugo, 14, some cufflinks or a nice pen and Eloise, 12, some earrings and a bracelet.
"The one thing my family know is I am petrified of being alone. I don’t want to die alone," she said.
She said that she had told her husband Sebastien, who she married in 2008 to "move on".
She said that he was "handsome" and that he should find someone who makes him laugh, in the way that they used to together.
Deborah, who was diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2016, said that she has written letters to her children to open on milestone moments like first dates and their wedding days.
These precious letters will perhaps be filled with motherly advice, so even though she won't be there with them in person, she'll be there through her words.
Deborah, who has lost the use of her arms and legs and needs to be carried everywhere, has moved in to her parents bungalow in Woking.
She said that she would like to spend her final hours sipping champagne on her parents' lawn after she was given the go ahead by hospital nurses.
"I just want to hear their banter and the normal buzz of life as I go."
Her story has touched the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, who paid tribute to her on their Twitter account.
"Every now and then, someone captures the heart of the nation with their zest for life & tenacious desire to give back to society.
Do you enjoy reading about celebrities? Sign up for all the best celeb news from the Mirror here .
"Bowelbabe is one of those special people. Her tireless efforts to raise awareness of bowel cancer & end the stigma of treatment are inspiring," they wrote.
"We are so sad to hear the recent update but are pleased to support the bowelbabef (her fundraiser), which will benefit the Royal Marsden NHS among others.
"Deborah, our thoughts are with you, your family and your friends. Thank you for giving hope so so many who are living with cancer. W & C"
Do you have a story to sell? Get in touch with us at email@example.com or call us direct 0207 29 33033.