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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
Entertainment
Amy Denman

Deborah James rekindled marriage with Sebastien weeks before cancer diagnosis

Dame Deborah James clearly had a loving bond with her husband Sebastien before she passed away.

The 40-year-old brave campaigner married her city banker husband in July 2008 and shared children Hugo, 14, and 12-year-old Eloise together.

Throughout her cancer journey Deborah called Seb her 'utter rock', 'blanket' and her 'very backbone'.

Deborah passed away surrounded by her family, including her husband, on Tuesday 28 June.

Before her death, Deborah urged her husband to find love, but urged him: "Don't be taken for a ride, don't marry a bimbo."

However, things could have turned out differently for the former deputy headteacher as the year before her stage 4 bowel cancer diagnosis, Dame Deborah and her husband were going through an 'acrimonious' divorce.

Dame Deborah and her city banker husband decided to give things another try weeks before she was diagnosed with bowel cancer (Instagram/Deborah James)
Deborah passed away after a five year cancer battle on Tuesday 28 June (Instagram)

Deborah told the Daily Mail in 2020 how she had been focussing on her work as a deputy head to turn around a failing school in Surrey, meaning she and Sebastien barely saw one another.

"It was a classic case of our marriage coming last," she explained.

The dame's husband moved out in 2015 and both hired divorce lawyers and started seeing other people – with Deborah going on some 'hideous' Tinder dates.

Deborah James shares two children, Hugo and Eloise, with Sebastien (Instagram/Deborah James)

Deborah and the city banker then agreed to go through counselling in order to be on more cordial terms for the sake of their children. But, the former flames found themselves going for drinks, then dinner after the sessions.

Then, in November 2016, Deborah and Sebastien took a 'big step' and got back together. Just a month later in December 2016, Deborah received the heartbreaking news she had stage 4 bowel cancer.

Speaking about their relationship after receiving the news, Deborah explained: "Some days I crave the attention, just wanting to feel desired.

"Other days, my husband can't sneeze near me without getting his head bitten off. Understandably navigating that — for both of us — is hard."

Sebastien took Deborah on a trip to some gardens after she went into end-of-life care (Deborah James/Instagram)
Deborah and Sebastien celebrated 13 years of marriage together (Instagram/Deborah James)

But, she added: "One of the good things about cancer is it makes you reassess your relationship. It's crunch time. You think: 'Do I really want to be with this person?' And if you don't, then it's 'Bye!' as life really is short.

"But cancer can also make you realise how special your connection is, and that's where we are: in a good place."

After being moved into end-of-life care, Deborah made the decision to spend her final days and weeks with her family.

During this time, Sebastien took her to the RHS Garden Wisley in Woking to celebrate the upcoming release of her book How To Live When You Could Be Dead.

Deborah later shared a photo of the pair together and gushed over her husband in the caption. She wrote: "Seb whisked me ( bit of a mission but worth it!) at the crack of dawn to @rhswisley before all the crowds., to say we’ll done for the book launch, and it was just perfect for a hour.

"I haven’t left the house in 10 days as have been too weak, and whilst I’m now going to snooze for most of the day (in the sun like a cat!) - I love this picture of reminding me of vibrant green life all around, despite the sadness of knowing the state of my body inside.

"But Seb is an utter rock for me and together we seem to be able to squeeze our hands, swallow the tears and laugh instead."

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