My mother is so unhappy in her NHS role, but what sort of new job could she do?
My mother is a healthcare professional who has worked in NHS children’s services for 30 years. She is increasingly unhappy with her job over the past 15 or so years, to the point where it now makes her quite depressed. She feels scared of the serious repercussions of potentially doing something wrong, drowned by her caseload, and unable to cope with the IT developments (her computer skills are extremely limited).
My parents’ finances mean she will have to continue working for the next 10 years. I hate to see her so unhappy, and it is clear that she needs a career change. She often says she wants to quit, but doesn’t know what else she can do. She doesn’t want to stay in the NHS or in a caring profession.
She has lots of transferable skills – she pays attention to detail, has a caring personality and is very intelligent – but her lack of IT skills poses a big problem. After a bad day she says she’d be happy working on a supermarket checkout, but I know it wouldn’t stretch her and it would probably leave her unmotivated.
She is enthusiastic and reasonably knowledgeable about art, classical music, gardening and sewing. Where can she start in terms of a career change?
Jeremy says
To have been increasingly unhappy over 15 years is worrying. You and she should resolve right away that under no circumstances should she contemplate another 10 years in the same role – she would certainly put her health at risk, and with it what remains of her happiness and confidence.
But I’m not sure you should think ofher future in terms of “a career change”. A career suggests a formal position in a structured organisation, probably with prospects. In other words, the sort of position she has been accustomed to over the past 30 years with the NHS. I doubt if this is the sort of job you should be envisaging for her. Applying for such jobs, particularly with her limited IT skills, is likely to lead to disappointment and further unhappiness.
In saying that, I don’t mean she has to settle for something that uses as little of her intelligence and ability as working on a supermarket checkout. As I’ve touched on before in this column, there are hundreds of thousands of jobs that don’t conform to any accepted definition. They are usually occupied by people of a certain age with quite a lot of experience. In large organisations – schools, charities, hospitals, nursing homes – there are nearly always highly valued individuals who, often with no meaningful job description, somehow help keep the whole place functioning. (In fact, their roles are often defined only by the names of those performing them: “Oh, that’s Mrs Butler’s department”, for example) It’s in this ill-defined but nonetheless very real area that I believe your mother could find satisfaction.
Locating such positions isn’t easy because they seldom have a widely accepted job description and may not be advertised. By far the greatest help you could give her, and luckily there’s no deadline to meet, is to scour all such local institutions, and others that occur to you – prompted perhaps by her interests in art, music, gardening and so on – for early intimations that such a vacancy may soon be forthcoming. Use all your personal contacts. Don’t rule out advertising in your local newspaper. It may sound extremely vague and unmethodical, but remember that such jobs exist, that your mother would almost certainly be an excellent choice for one of them, and she needs only one.
Readers say
• I joined a mentoring network and haven’t looked back. It helped me to identify what I want to do and gave me the confidence to do it. HonoraM
• Some of the IT systems used in the NHS are very poorly designed, or at least were well designed for one area of work or way of working, then implemented elsewhere without anyone thinking to see if it’s actually the same. So, it might be that her IT skills are OK, but her confidence undermined by something that is no fault of her own. salamandertome
• If she’s scared of patients being failed by bad systems, encourage her to report things. It’s amazing how NHS managers perk up to caseload problems when the staff stop trying to take on failings. If patients are at risk, if colleagues are not doing their jobs, if she doesn’t have the right equipment, get it documented and escalated. Managers seen to be counting on staff to accept lower standards of professionalism and shoulder patient safety concerns, and it’s not on. HJ G
At company meetings I am the one nobody listens to as they just switch off
It has happened again. The “it” being that my contributions at meetings – formal, informal, email or telephone – are always ignored. Then, at subsequent meetings, someone else will come up with the same suggestion, contribution, concern or whatever. Sometimes, too, I am asked to undertake a task, which I do, which then gets pigeonholed after I have done the work. I feel as if the request has been on the basis of “Oh well, this will shut her up.”
I’m aware that, over time, this is sapping my confidence and self-esteem and probably the way I present whatever it is I would like to say. I’m also aware that I am not a particularly assertive person.
Have you any handy hints on how best to make effective contributions to meetings? I’m always careful to ensure that the chair realises I want to say something, and do not mirror the behaviour of others who will talk over or interrupt other members. But I sense people switch off to what I’m saying.
Jeremy says
It’s inevitable that ideas and suggestions are evaluated by others not purely on their intrinsic merit but, at least in part, on the basis of their source, and will be listened to with greater attention if their proposer already commands respect. For whatever reason, it’s clear that your colleagues have come not to expect you to make a significant contribution, which increases your hesitancy, which in turn confirms your colleagues’ prejudices.
I don’t think “handy hints” are your solution, they often make people sound forced and artificial. You need to break the predictable pattern. So resist making any more contributions until you have a suggestion you have every reason to believe is an outstandingly good one. Then say, very simply, “I’ve had a good idea. Would you like to hear what it is?” You will have their attention. When they recognise the merit of your idea, your reputation will have begun its slow, gradual turnaround. So will your confidence.
Readers say
• Lower the pitch of your voice, raise the volume slightly, and speak calmly but continuously as if you know exactly what you want to say, and don’t use “spacer phrases”. If it helps, write it down first. Alexandria
• When I spoke to a senior manager about the same problem, she said to me that I am “too nice and decent” and “should shout more” because that’s what works nowadays. At that point I realised this place wasn’t for me and I am due to start a new job in a couple of weeks. ID5460659
• State opinion. Get ignored. Colleague takes your idea. Then say, “I’m really glad [colleague’s name] agrees with me but we should really move on to how to implement this [insert concrete proposal].” chrysalis_kat
Do you need advice on a work issue? For Jeremy’s and readers’ help, send a brief email to dear.jeremy@theguardian.com. Please note that he is unable to answer questions of a legal nature or to reply personally.
