I was lucky enough to get a job I love, now all my colleagues are jealous
A few years ago I got a job I wasn’t that interested in, with a large organisation, as a foot in the door. Nobody else wanted the position and I’ve been told they had lots of trouble filling it. Then the company had a big reshuffle, people left or started new roles and I got moved into a great job that I love.
I’ve been told by the office gossip that the people I work with resent me because lots of them had their eye on my job, and I got it without an interview. I did have some experience in the area but am still a beginner and make mistakes – which everyone knows about.
I finally got the job I want, but maybe I don’t deserve it as everyone I work with resents me.
Jeremy says
Please read that last sentence again: “I don’t deserve it as everyone I work with resents me.” Surely you realise that it make no logical sense at all.
You got this job because people in senior positions, whose business it is to make such decisions and who had seen you at work for several years, thought you were capable of doing it. And they were confident enough in this opinion to appoint you without competition and without even an interview.
Since you love this job, I find it hard to believe that you’re doing it badly: you wouldn’t be able to love it if you were. Of course, as a beginner you’ll make a few mistakes. It’s virtually impossible to start an interesting new job without doing so. What’s unnerved you is the poison that’s been dripped into your ear by the office gossip, and I suspect that the office gossip, like most mischief-makers, can sense your insecurity and takes pleasure in exploiting it. You mustn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing you react to it.
Trust the people who appointed you. Don’t let them down by seeming to surrender. Do your job to the best of your abilities, which you must know are more than up to it. Assume an air of confidence even though you may not always feel it. Be generous in your gratitude to others. Ignore the office gossip.
Above all, just get through the next few weeks and months – and before you know it everything will be as you originally thought and hoped it might be.
Readers say
• Of course you deserve the job, and don’t worry about mistakes – it’s a new role and in this situation most people make mistakes to begin with. I’m afraid this kind of jealousy and resentment is very common in the workplace towards those who get on: you have a choice – be successful in your career or let those who have not had your success keep you down at their level. walkinginthesand
• Your commitment and work ethic has obviously been noticed and rewarded. Tell the office gossip that you got the job on merit and that you are proud of the contribution you make. twosides
• As they get to know you they’ll accept you and like you. They’ll get over it, as long as you don’t act like you’re special. bcarey
I verbally committed to 18 months with my employer – is it wrong to leave early?
I accepted an offer of employment last year and was asked, before I accepted, to consider if I felt that “in principle I could commit to a minimum of 18 months but preferably two years”. It was a verbal thing and not in my contract, which is permanent. Since starting in October I’ve got on really well and even had a pay rise.
The problem is I have seen my dream job advertised, for which I have some very specific skills and experience.
Should I apply for it? I feel guilty at the prospect of leaving my employer in the lurch if I am offered it, or about time off for a potential interview.
Jobs which so closely fit my ideal specifications rarely come up and I can’t stop thinking about how great this position would be.
Jeremy says
When you were asked, before you took your job, whether “in principle” you felt you could commit to 18 months or two years, you told them the truth when you said you could.
I suppose you might have said: “I certainly feel that now. But there must be a possibility that circumstances change, that it turns out that I don’t much like this job after all (or you don’t like me), or that an even better opportunity presents itself after a year or two – so I obviously can’t commit myself unconditionally.”
That would have been open, honest and realistic – but at the same time would have left the entirely false (and unnecessary) impression that you were going into your new job without commitment or enthusiasm.
It’s honourable of you to feel uneasy about applying for this dream job but I’m in no doubt that you should. As you know only too well, you can’t be sure of getting it but if you don’t even apply for it, you’ll have the feeling of “if only I had” haunting you, probably for years. That wouldn’t even be fair on your present employer, where you seem to be happy and doing well.
If your conscience still troubles you, remember you have only one life and one career. You owe it to yourself to discover whether or not this dream job is for you.
It’s true that if you are fortunate enough to get it, you’ll cause your current company some temporary inconvenience, but I’m sure you’d keep that inconvenience to a minimum and leave with all your projects in good order.
And as for taking time off for that potential interview, you should do what the whole working world knows to be an unspoken common practice: take a day’s leave and be evasive about why. It will make you feel uncomfortable, but it makes no sense to volunteer the truth.
Readers say
• It’s highly likely your potential new employer will ask for a reference from your current employer. I think you should exercise caution, which I wouldn’t advise if you were desperately unhappy in your job. You’ll find other “dream” job opportunities will present themselves along the way. katiewm
• Never show loyalty to a company. Yes the people may be nice, but when push comes to shove a company will ditch you without a second thought. As for references, nowadays they are standard and non-committal. They generally provide the name of a position, salary (if asked for), sick days (if asked for) and length of employment. Anything else leaves them open to legal action for defamation of character. So go for it and apply away. Macky1982
• As an employer (sort of) we ask this question because we want to employ someone who doesn’t actively plan to leave before they even start, or is looking at us as a stepping stone to something else in the very short term. That doesn’t mean we expect indentured servitude. I agree with other people – apply, take annual leave to interview, and if you get it submit your resignation and point out that the job offer was just too perfect a fit for you not to try. Pavanne
• Apply. You might not even get the role, but better to have a crack rather than die wondering. Doctore
Do you need advice on a work issue? For Jeremy’s and readers’ help, send a brief email to dear.jeremy@theguardian.com. Please note that he is unable to answer questions of a legal nature or to reply personally.
