I want to work part-time but my business partner wants different things
I am one half of a reasonably successful business partnership of 30 years. I get on well with my partner and we have shared many successful contracts through the years, but also had a few downs, some disappointing years and three recessions. Our business has provided both of us with a very acceptable lifestyle. We are not millionaires but neither are we on the breadline.
My dilemma is that I am now 63 (my partner is 57) and I would prefer to work part-time. I have discussed this with my partner – he wants to continue full time. I am now not particularly busy as my contracts have dried up and so feel guilty that he is working and I am not productive – although I have set up an arm to our business in a new, but related, field and hope it will bring new business soon.
I have not been drawing a wage over the past year or so but my car, petrol and expenses are still paid out of the company. Where should I go from here?
Jeremy says
In the open and thoughtful way you’re approaching this incipient problem, you (and your partner) show excellent sense.
You both seem aware of the possible consequences of your differing intentions. Already, you confess to feeling guilty that your partner is working longer hours than you; and you must be equally conscious that, however long-established your relationship, if your respective contributions and rewards continue to diverge, sooner or later your partner may begin to feel resentful.
As you obviously feel, it would be a great shame if a partnership that’s survived, and mainly prospered, for 30 years were to peter out in recriminations – or even just a cooling of your personal relationship.
On the face of it, dividing the company and going your separate ways would seem the cleanest, safest way to proceed but I’d be pretty sure that, when it came down to it, the act of division could turn out to be pretty messy and might well lead to tension between you. I suspect, too, that both you and your partner’s work, although mostly conducted separately, would continue to benefit from your business remaining intact.
It’s no good pretending that you’re still two equal partners. He’s six years younger and wants to work full-time; you’re already less productive than he is and would prefer to go part-time. So I think it’s only reasonable that any arrangement you make should, if anything, favour him.
I suggest, therefore, that you ask him to draft the details of a formal agreement between you, making it clear that your first concern is that he, as the more active of the two, should be entirely happy with it. You will know what aspects it should cover; but your own remuneration, or lack of it, and the fair allocation of overheads, should obviously be detailed.
My guess is that you’ll find yourself agreeable to just about everything he suggests; and, if that’s the case, you’ll both be spared any future sense of either embarrassment or inequity.
Readers say
• If you do decide to leave, do the decent thing and give your partner a minimum of three months’ notice. I once had a business partner pull out with no warning whatsoever, and for reasons I didn’t fully understand as we were doing well. His departure not only killed the company, but the friendship, too. bobbysixty
• When it’s time to leave the building you should know – and you should go. jeesuswhyme
• Presumably the partnership contract includes details of sharing of income. You could just amend it to another equitable split. johnmperry
• You aren’t just sharing the income, you are sharing the liabilities. Maybe your partner knows something you don’t? moneyallgone
• I hope you partner isn’t a Guardian reader. If they see that you are asking random strangers as a first step, they might be rather offended! salamandertome
My job has left me burned out, I can’t sleep and I don’t know if I can carry on
I have worked at a local authority for the past 10 years. We have had a turbulent time over for the past 12 months, with changes of senior staff and a blame culture. My manager left in January.
A consultant has been appointed to implement improvements in my area, though she does not know whether she is supposed to manage me. She says she is trying to find out. I feel burned out and fear I lack the skills and energy to make the changes the organisation wants.
I am trying – so far unsuccessfully – to find a new job, and would take a pay cut if necessary. Friends have suggested I get signed off for stress, as I am not sleeping and am very anxious about work. However, if I did that I am not sure whether I would be able to come back to my job – and I need to go back, even if only until I find another.
I am pretty sure senior staff would be pleased if I left. I don’t know whether, or how, to be honest with them about not feeling able to do my job competently any more, as my relationships with them are not good. I could take some leave, but would be concerned that the staff I manage would have a difficult time trying to pick up my work.
Jeremy says
It’s clear that the turbulence of your last year, and the uncertainties it has thrown up, have left you very stressed indeed: and with no clear line manager to whom you can appeal for guidance.
There’s one course of action I believe you should rule out. The moment you inform your senior staff that you feel you’re no longer able to fulfil your role competently, you’ll put them in an extremely difficult situation and lose all control over your own destiny. You should choose that route only if you plan to leave immediately – even with no other job to go to.
But you clearly need a break. No decision you make in your current state of mind is likely to be a good one – so I think you should take some immediate leave.
Your concern about your staff being unable to cope in your absence is understandable – but I’d be fairly certain that much of the stress you feel is caused by over-conscientiousness.
If your senior staff – and this consultant – have to manage your commitments while you’re away, there’s a good chance they’ll get a better idea of what needs to be done on a permanent basis.
Readers say
•Talk to your GP. Perhaps a short rest and even something to help you sleep might give you a break to get some perspective on your situation. It is difficult to work and plan your future when you are constantly losing sleep. mrsdoom
• Please, stop thinking of how the staff you manage would cope in your absence. Nobody is indispensable – even you. Take some leave and try to relax.
If management says your timing is not good, remind them that it is an entitlement, not discretionary. Walderslady
Do you need advice on a work issue? For Jeremy’s and readers’ help, send a brief email to dear.jeremy@theguardian.com. Please note that he is unable to answer questions of a legal nature or reply personally.
