Our graduate daughter doesn’t know what career she really wants
Our daughter is 22 and has a 2:1 in politics and history. When she left university she tried for several graduate training programmes with the civil service, NHS, John Lewis and so on, and usually did very well on the tests except for maths, where she was always just a little below the line.
She has started an admin job which she hoped would be just a starter job to get her some experience; she seems highly thought of as a temporary worker, and they have offered her the role permanently after only a month and frequently comment on how bright she is and that she could be doing something more demanding. But the company does not seem to offer any prospects.
Her problem is what to apply for now. She loved her uni courses but realises she is not cut out for a career in politics. She is probably not the sales type, though working has increased her confidence. But I worry that she has no clear idea of what to aim for. She thinks that working for a charity or local authority would be interesting and worthwhile, but councils are cutting jobs and charities only seem to want “chuggers”.
She is keen to learn and I feel could apply herself, if only she could figure out what to aim for.
Jeremy says
It seems your daughter has never had a particularly clear idea of what she wants to do. Applying for a place on such disparate graduate training programmes as those run by the Civil Service, the NHS and John Lewis doesn’t suggest any specific interest. It’s almost as if she wants to extend her time in education while still searching for a career.
It’s common enough for people to leave university with little idea what they want to do – and at 22 she certainly hasn’t left it too late, but it does make finding a suitable job a great deal harder.
Most employers, understandably enough, will show the greatest interest in those applicants who show the greatest interest in them. Most good jobs will have many applicants, nearly all with adequate academic qualifications. Applicants who seem to be vague in their ambitions, who simply say they are looking for “challenging” work, are never going to get the attention more focused applicants will attract. So as long as your daughter “has no clear idea of what to aim for” she’s going to find things difficult.
You can help her most, I think, not by trying to identify a particular sector or profession she might apply to but by working out what she’s best at, and what she gets the most enjoyment from doing, and doing well. And only then considering the jobs and the careers that would seem to need and value those particular aptitudes.
What does she do for pleasure in her spare time? Is she analytically able? Does she relish problem solving? Is she persuasive? Did she run a club or a society at university? These are the sorts of skills that a huge variety of different occupations are looking for, so those are the ones she should identify and pursue. Encourage her to pick out specific companies of particular interest and research them thoroughly. An application from someone who knows exactly what attracts her to a company and why she thinks she could be an asset to it will always outscore more run-of-the mill CVs.
Readers say
• Take the job, build up more confidence and life skills. Become an adult. Don’t worry, life isn’t a race. Save up, enjoy having money and take time to work out what you want. Volunteer, network, research online. Keep believing in yourself. bobsyouruncle1
• She needs to get some real-life experience and find out what is important to her. I took an admin job aged 16 and have worked in admin ever since (aged 25 now). It’s a good way for a younger, inexperienced person to learn about workplace politics, earn a bit of cash, live their life. I personally learned that I despise all the hierarchy of office work, and I struggle to sit at a desk all day, so I trained as a counsellor and am hoping to get away from all this. Lucanidae
• When I was 22 I didn’t have a career; I had a job insofar as I went in every day and did as I was told. The career came much later in my life. stevenhope1964
I can no longer endure my manager’s ‘healthy office banter’. What can I do?
I’ve worked in my current position since April 2014 when I moved from the public to the private sector. My new line manager is four years younger than I am (I’m in my mid-30s) and has never managed a team before.
In our open-plan office he has a culture of what he calls “healthy office banter”. That includes racist impersonations, casual homophobia and veiled jokey threats that he’ll sack people if they don’t join in. I think he just wants to be friends with everyone ahead of his responsibilities as a line manager.
I’ve never had a one-to-one meeting with him, I’ve had no targets set to achieve beyond barked instructions across the office for tasks that urgently need completing or if he wants something brought across the office from the printer. I have tried directly pointing out to him that his behaviour is completely inappropriate and I have endured it as long as I can.
I’ve reached a point where I have no respect for him and would like to find another job. How can I proceed with my dignity intact?
Jeremy says
He clearly thinks his behaviour is in some way endearing – and you have to face the possibility that others may actually agree. How many of your colleagues, I wonder, share your understandable disapproval of this insensitive manager? If most of them seem perfectly willing to play along and genuinely don’t find his “healthy office banter” all that offensive, he’s unlikely to be reined-in, let alone moved on by senior management. This being the case, you have a simple choice: learn to become immune to him (you could probably do it) or look elsewhere. Only if your views are shared by a majority of your workmates do you have a realistic hope of management doing anything about him.
Ultimately, I suspect, your decision will turn on how much (your line manager aside) you value and enjoy this job. You were there for over a year before the arrival of your new leader. There’s no threat to your dignity in looking for another job – just be absolutely sure that your mounting dislike of this man and his manners doesn’t drive you into taking the first thing that comes along.
Readers say
• It does sound that this David Brent-like character is inexperienced at leadership but it is not your responsibility to manage your manager. If his manager sees nothing inappropriate about his behaviour then join in with the “fun” or speak with you feet and find another job. smiley192
• Keep a diary of every boorish, sexist, offensive thing he says – dates, times and witnesses. After a month or two send it to your HR department and copy in all the directors. And keep applying for other jobs. ClarkEKhat
• Tell HR. Whether you also resign is up to you, but you should let them know what’s going on. You won’t be the only person this ends up driving away. rjberry
Do you need advice on a work issue? For Jeremy’s and readers’ help, send a brief email to dear.jeremy@theguardian.com. Please note that he is unable to answer questions of a legal nature or to reply personally.
