A team member is locked in a battle with me and is sabotaging my work
I am a senior software engineer with a lot of experience. I was hired a year ago. In my team of three, one person is also senior but with eight years at the company doing the same job.
This person has been astonishingly unhelpful, to the point of giving me wrong information. On the first day I asked where the code was stored and he said I didn’t need to know that yet. I had to insist until he finally gave it to me.
In the last two weeks alone he has given me incorrect information on three occasions. I have kept the manager informed, but this colleague is still up to the same tricks. Last week, some work had been assigned to me, and on the file he had put a note that he had explained details about how this code worked and what the problem was. He hadn’t explained it to me at all.
Later that day, the manager asked me if I had a date for when this would be done. I said it would take about three days, at which point my colleague jumped in with a load of information about how simple it was, speaking to the manager as if I were invisible.
The manager did haul our team in to a meeting several months ago to discuss how we could work better, and the guy blatantly lied, saying we are always talking and sharing information. The manager said he didn’t see that.
This colleague watches my every move. If I use the phone, he takes his headphones off and listens to my conversation. If I speak in a meeting, he immediately starts talking over me. I get the impression this guy is locked in battle with me, and I have no idea what to do about it.
I feel no other option than to leave. I fear management may not know how to deal with my situation, or has not fully recognised what he is doing. I do feel the company will be relieved if I left, since it will make the problem go away – in the short term at least.
Jeremy says
This kind of behaviour is often a symptom of insecurity on the part of the individual concerned. Having been the undisputed senior member of the team for eight years, he may have felt threatened by your arrival – and has gone out of his way to be obstructive ever since.
It’s inconceivable that your management isn’t fully aware of all this: your own manager has certainly witnessed your colleague’s conduct and has even called a meeting in the hope of resolving matters. The truth, as you clearly suspect, is that nobody knows how to deal with this troublesome person. So management’s response is to turn a blind eye and hope that somehow it will sort itself out. It’s neither admirable nor excusable – managers are paid to do difficult things – but it’s just about understandable.
Before deciding on any other action, I suggest you have a private conversation with your manager, allowing plenty of time. Don’t be at all aggressive or even critical. Your position should be: we both know we’ve got a bit of problem with Harry – is there anything I can do to help?
His response will tell you a lot. If he blusters and pretends not to know what you’re talking about, then you’ve probably got little choice but to move on as soon as you can find a suitable job. But if he seems to welcome such a conversation – even if not immediately – then maybe there’s hope. At least you’ll know that there’s no conspiracy against you.
• This article was amended on 22 December 2014 to remove language that is inconsistent with Guardian guidelines.
Readers say
• Have you done anything to understand what’s causing this behaviour and to try to resolve it amicably with your colleague before involving management. Are other colleagues having difficulty working with him? And if you really aren’t able to resolve your working differences, but want to stay, perhaps your manager would consider arranging for some form of mediation, either someone else in the company who knows how to do this, or someone from outside. ID8257756
• It looks as though the management is very weak and ineffectual. It’s not a situation that any serious business would tolerate, so I don’t know why this appalling behaviour has been allowed to continue. I would suggest meeting with your manager to point out all of the instances where this colleague has obstructed your work. It should be a disciplinary issue for the management to pursue against this colleague. paulieb1
• Keep a diary. Email every incidence to HR so they have a record. Only deal with this person in writing, not by phone or verbally. Just_sayin
I fear being sacked if I show how little I have to do
About six months ago I started work at my current job. My boss is nice, as are my co-workers, and we get good perks. But I am so very bored, and therefore terrified of losing my job – and I don’t know what to do about it.
I suffer from workplace anxiety because my previous two jobs, my only other postgrad experience, were both horrible. Being naturally introverted, I have not yet recovered what little assertiveness I once had.
I have asked my boss for more work several times, but there just isn’t much to be had. While I don’t get the feeling – like I used to at my previous job – that the absence of work is deliberate sabotage (at my previous job my suspicions were correct), I still suffer from anxiety.
I have joined an activities team and try to find ways to get involved to fill up my days, but I still have hours where I just sit and fret. I am terrified to ask HR about expanding my role because I don’t want to get my boss in trouble, and I don’t want to be seen as expendable. I also don’t want to quit because this is the best environment I have come across since my intern days – but I know I won’t feel better until I a busy.
Jeremy says
Your two previous work experiences, together with your natural diffidence, have left you so short of self-confidence that you see threats and dangers everywhere. I very much doubt if they exist to the extent that you fear.
Being underworked is bad for morale – and gives you much too much time for your imagination to do its worst.
Without making a big thing of it, I suggest you tell your boss that you still have a few unoccupied hours and ask if it’s OK for you to find out from HR if they have any one-off projects you could take on. This won’t get your boss into trouble and certainly won’t make you seem expendable.
Readers say
• Enjoy it while it lasts, because it won’t always be like this. In the meantime, use your spare time well. Read books, learn a language, take a work-related training course or start studying for a degree. Network among your colleagues and get to know the company. If you want to have a chat with HR, make that about training. What training will benefit the company? What would you like to do in five years? Your goal is not to be kept busy but to develop your potential. You have a great opportunity to do something about that, don’t waste it by fretting. Aranzazu
• Show some initiative. Is there a process that could be redesigned, a client survey, a filing system that needs reorganising. I can’t believe everything is perfect in your workplace. Take on a task in your spare time. You’ll get to learn more about the company and be seen to be industrious. tiniow
Do you need advice on a work issue? For Jeremy’s and readers’ help, send a brief email to dear.jeremy@theguardian.com. Please note that he is unable to answer questions of a legal nature or reply personally.
