Dear Coleen
I’m a 21-year-old woman and a couple of weeks ago I slept with a friend of my dad’s who’s in his late-40s. He’s also the father of my friend and it happened after her 21st birthday party at their home.
He’s divorced from his wife, so it’s not a cheating situation, but I’m worried about how my friend and my dad will react if they find out about us.
I’ve been messaging this guy since the party and he wants to see me again. I really fancy him and could easily get into something with him, but I have a feeling it’s a really bad idea and I shouldn’t go there.
I’ve told a couple of friends and they’re horrified, but mostly because he’s “old”. Believe it or not, he’s actually a really good person and it’s not like I’ve known him since I was a kid.
My dad met him three years ago when he moved to the area following his divorce, and I became friendly with his daughter when she came to stay with him.
I know it’s complicated, but I do like him. Have you any advice?
Coleen says
I’d say go with your gut instinct that it’s not a good idea. He’s an older man and the cloak and dagger aspect is all very thrilling, but I think he’s acting wrongly on every level.
It’s easy to get involved in something you know you shouldn’t because it’s exciting, but you’ve got the chance to nip it in the bud now and avoid the unpleasant fall out that’s on the horizon.
Your dad will be furious with this man, and your friend will be upset with both of you – relationships will undoubtedly be ruined.
You say he’s a good guy, but I’d question the character of someone who thinks it’s appropriate to get involved with his mate’s much younger daughter.
It’s just dodgy! For him it’s a huge ego boost, but can the relationship actually go any further than sex and would you want it to?
Do you really want to cause all this anguish for something that could never last?
If I were you, I’d put this down to a fun one-night stand and move on.
