Dear Coleen
I’m a man in my 20s and have been with my girlfriend for a couple of years. However, I’m worried I’ve ruined everything because I got too close to her younger sister. I’ve always thought she had a thing for me – she was always excited to see me and flirted with me a bit whenever we were all together.
I never thought too much about it and then at a family party a couple of weeks ago, everyone got a bit drunk and she sat on my knee and was hugging me and nuzzling my neck.
I know it was inappropriate and I should have got up immediately and moved away, but I suppose I was just a bit drunk and enjoying the party.
Nothing else happened between us, but my girlfriend was upset and feels I’ve embarrassed her in front of her family, and her parents are really not happy about it.
I haven’t been over there since and although my girlfriend and I are still together, things are pretty tense and I don’t know if or when they’ll get back to normal.
How can I make this situation right? I realise I’ve messed up big time and I feel bad.
I don’t want to break up with my girlfriend though, so how can I rescue the situation?
Coleen says
Well, I’m sure you’ve realised now that it’s a very bad idea to get this close to your girlfriend’s sibling! I’m sure the younger sister is desperately trying to make things right with her sister, too. But, no, this doesn’t cover you in glory as far as her folks are concerned.
Well, I think you could start by apologising for any embarrassment and upset you’ve caused, if you haven’t already. And if you and your girlfriend are going to carry on seeing each other, then I’d conduct your relationship away from her family, at least for the time being.
Focus on each other and see how that goes. Hopefully, once some time has passed and her parents can see your relationship is going well and that their daughter is happy, they’ll be more amenable. But I think you have to accept that future family gatherings might be awkward.
I doubt you’ll make the same mistake again. However, it might be worth thinking about how your behaviour changes when you drink, especially if getting into this kind of situation has happened before.
If you really love your girlfriend and want to make a go of it, I’m sure you can find a way through it with a lot of grovelling and effort, but I just wonder if this is a sign that you’re not as into your girlfriend as you think you are.
