This week has been one of the toughest I've experienced in rugby league.
It feels like we are in a big hole right now and everyone - all of us boys - are on notice. Last weekend against the Roosters, we let ourselves down, we let the coach down, the club, the town and our supporters.
Fans are hurting but I can assure you we're hurting as much as anyone. We have to dig ourselves out of it. We have to find our mojo. Confidence is down and there is not enough belief there with the way we are playing at the moment.
Without that confidence we have just retreated back into our shells. There is a game plan there but as soon as it gets tested a bit or we come up with an error or it just doesn't happen for us, we just move away from it and get into our own lane and just worry about ourselves.
You can't do that. It's a team sport and we've all got to stick together. When we get tested, we've got to keep going with it. Keep persisting with what we are trying to do. We are just breaking up and not showing enough fight.
Against the Roosters, we got tested a bit early and before we knew it, the scoreline had blown out to 18-0 after 20 minutes. We got back in some sort of groove with a try and we had some consistency with the ball but when it didn't happen for us when we were camped on their line early in the second half, we dropped our bundle again and went back into our shells again. We have to fall back in love with competing. We not only have to win the big moments but all the little moments that lead to them, we have to worry about them as well. For whatever reason, we are losing a lot of them.
Like I said, we're the ones who have to dig our way out of it. We have to perform and get results because if we can't do it, we are in some strife. We've got a big couple of weeks coming up for us as individuals and as a team. It's there. We know it's there because we have done it before. It's us making the right choices on the footy field.
With results not going our way, it takes a toll on you. From a confidence point of view, when it doesn't happen for you week after week, it slowly kills you. It's no good for your mental health.
I know I've got to step it up more but I think all us senior blokes have to step it up. When you are losing like this, you start looking around but I think sometimes you have to look in the mirror and make sure you are doing everything possible yourself to lift the joint. If we are all doing that, we'll get out of it.
There's been some positive stuff come out of some really tough meetings this week and the last couple of days at training. One positive has been the chance given to Phoenix Crossland. He's hungry to play some footy and show what he's got. I really like him, he's a real competitive kid, he knows where he's at in his footy career and I'm just really happy for him.
