The funniest standup I’ve ever seen …
Harry Hill. In the 90s. The Hawth, Crawley. Laughed more that hour than any other. Reason I wanted to get on stage. I secretly blame him for everything.
The funniest TV show I’ve ever seen …
The Day Today. I remember where I was when I watched episode one. What chair I was sitting on. What angle the chair was at. That half-hour blew my bonce off.
The funniest heckle I’ve ever had …
“Backpack wanker!”
The funniest meal I’ve ever eaten …
My mum once baked me a cake that looked like a labrador on wheels.
The funniest hairstyle I’ve ever had …
Three years ago. Allowed a trainee to have a stab at a new hairdo for me. I thanked him, tipped him, then left the shop looking like Tyne Daly from Cagney & Lacey.
The funniest dream I’ve ever had …
It involved a giant horse trapping me against a tree in a walled garden. The next bit is way too rude to print. Naughty, naughty horse.
The funniest thing that shouldn’t be funny …
I can’t write that. It’s one of the main diseases.
The funniest number …
Fifty-four. That’s the age I’m gonna suffer a massive heart attack and it’s all going to end.
The funniest joke I’ve ever heard …
When Paul Foot spent 10 minutes abusing an audience with his made-up foul language. Was it a joke? Oh, no, no.
David Earl comperes The Honk Show as Brian Gittins, 28 February, Moth Club, E9
