David Bentley

Andrew Ferguson gives Kenny Rogers his first Gallery run-out for some time. "You've got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to cross the ball, know when to run ..." he chuckles tunefully Photograph: /x

Can David fix England's midfield shortcomings, wonders Alan Neill Photograph: x

Adrian Moore - sound grammar, cynical mind Photograph: /x

"Hundreds of figures within the game had tried to help David give up his underground pastimes," titters Laura Gladney Photograph: /x

John Barry wins points for originality as the only entrant to riff on Bentley's vacuuming obsession Photograph: /x

"Surely there's a long career for him on the stage?" reckons Thomas Thompson, whose friends must surely be calling him satnav by now. "Any part that allows him to talk ... and talk ... would do." Photograph: /x

"David gets excited about being 'the new Becks'," honks Robert Schofield Photograph: /x

Robert Schofield is another reader who's been musing on the perks of following in Goldenballs' footprints Photograph: /x

Paul Bradley thought "Motormouth" would be a humorously succinct caption. We think Paul Bradley is just lazy Photograph: /x

Here's Mat Owen: "Not content with taking his place in the England squad, the 'new Becks' takes things a step further and is spotted on a night out, wearing matching outfits, with a lass called Victoria." Photograph: /x

"It's just poor misunderstood David against the world," says Mark Boyd, riffing on the 1982 film that starred a young Kim Benson as Job Centre Girl No1 Photograph: /x

"The upgrades were drastic, but he'd never be too tired ever again," says Roy Ward Photograph: /x

John Barry wasn't the only one to use this kit-based calamity, but his caption was certainly the harshest. "Despite David's delusions of fame and grandeur, even the Rovers kitman failed to recognise him." Photograph: /x

"Those live-odds electronic hoardings were big enough distraction for Bentley as it was …" The little bookies' pen behind David's ear raises Sean Kearney's effort to the next level Photograph: x

We feel we should point out that Gary Burns isn't seeking to imply that either Bentley or Betfair are 'bent' in any way. It's simply a neat fusion of the two words. And rather funny. Photograph: x