David Beckham

"With a move to Italy on the cards, David Beckham thought it was time to revamp his nickname to Golden Meatballs," chuckles Neil Pollock, with an effort reminiscent of a Sarah Lucas exhibit Photograph: n/a

"Though it doesn't make sense, I was going for the visual/verbal pun on mobile," writes an ambitious Rob Moline. "It means finicky in the original Italian, and speedy, agile and able to dribble in English." Photograph: n/a

It's in Rome, well, the Vatican, and perhaps The Last Judgment would have been more aposite, but we'll let Nick Sanders off. Somehow it just feels right, doesn't it? Photograph: n/a

"So will the Italians be excited about getting David?" wonders Michael McGrath. "Statuesque, homoerotic, with an unimposing tackle and a preference to hang to the right. I’m sure they’ve seen it all somewhere before ...” Stop giggling at the back - it's his slingshot. Photograph: n/a

Becks gets Back in Black (and red) in Ceci Masters' effort. By the way, did you know there's an all-female AC/DC tribute band called AC/DShe? Genius. Photograph: n/a

"If Becks don't make it in Milan, I'll 'ave to tout tea towels in Turin ..." titters Catherine Booth Photograph: n/a

"The mafia goes metrosexual," honks Leon Ward Photograph: n/a

Obscure film reference alert - anyone remember Swingers? Rich Irvine hopes so: "Becks is still money, and he kind of knows it - maybe that's his trouble!" Photograph: n/a

"Becks was confident he could help to lower the average age of Milan's first team." Like many great Gallery entries, the brilliance of Ben Raza's effort is in the detail. In Where's Wally style, see if you can spot Andriy Shevchenko ... Photograph: n/a

"Good to dust down the old Becks gags," sighs a misty-eyed Sam Gold, a man (or possibly a woman) who loves his (or her) pop-art, no matter how inappropriate it is. Photograph: n/a

Has John Barry become the first man ever to put David Beckham's head on Jasper Carrott's body? Probably Photograph: n/a

Here's Gary Ellis: "'Finally,' thought Becks, 'I can escape the land of those pizza-obsessed, neo-conservative, arrogant ... D'oh!'" Photograph: n/a

Thomas Nycz-Losi sees trouble ahead at the San Siro as the players attempt to decide who is to take Milan's set-pieces ... Photograph: n/a

Kasate Skeen reckons he knows the real reason behind Becks' Milan switch. Photograph: n/a