Well seriously talk about make your mind up, I said to Mummy, one day every single strategist is literally begging me to go to their ball like it is my ACTUAL job or something then literally the next morning there is all this banging and rattling, I’m like please Mr Cobber, would you for ONCE mind waiting until I am out of the shower? He’s like, Sabrina open up mate it’s urgent, I’m like, so go downstairs FGS, he’s like no *shouting through door* this is business, promise you will stay out of sight for the next 83 days? I’m like, WTAF, last time I heard I was Dave’s secret weapon, he’s like, do you want to help hubby or not? I’m like, well OBVIOUSLY, he’s like, so consider yourself decommissioned, you can keep out of sight or give up work, in our in-depth focus groups 89 per cent said the animal that Smythson most reminds them of is a slug? I’m like, God that is SO unfair, he’s like, plus they hate tax dodges, if I were you sweetheart I’d quit, trust Lynton, Mrs Crosby looks ten years younger since she decided of her own free will to spend more time with her ironing board, that’ll be £45,000, no worries, I’ve got a machine.
So this week I am upstairs working on this genius crocodile skin tax organiser with platinum dividers featuring five offshore havens plus time zones “for the impeccably organised wealth creator” #srslydivinestatementpiece when there is all this banging on the door, I’m like what NOW Mr Cobber? But it is Dave going quick chaterama babes? Because appaz tax avoidance is having the biggest moment #6pointlead :))) He is like, ha did I not always say ordinary Joeeramas actually hearterama non-aggressive tax avoidancerama, I’m like yay, wait till I tell Mummy & Willie they will be thrilled, he’s like, & the Messinator says the only bad thing about the black and white ball is the auction looked cheap, & the best news is Lynton says you can come out now babes, you are back being my secret weaponerama! I’m like, wait, does that mean we could borrow another £2m under the National Loan Guarantee Scheme, he’s like, & why the hellerama not, I’m like, deal :)))
