Personal finance expert Dave Ramsey is urging parents to stop bailing out adult children who misuse financial help, saying guilt-driven requests only reinforce poor money habits.
Parents Struggling With Adult Children's Financial Dependence
Danielle, a 27-year-old's mother, wrote to Ramsey seeking guidance after years of financially supporting her daughter and son-in-law despite their steady incomes, as reported by KTAR News on Tuesday.
"They both have decent jobs, and we have no idea where their money goes," Danielle explained.
"Lately, they have even tried to guilt us into giving them money by saying… our granddaughter might go without."
Ramsey's Tough Love Advice On Stopping Guilt-Tripping And Enabling
Ramsey responded with firm advice. "It's way past time your daughter and your son-in-law learned how to manage money like responsible adults," he wrote.
He recommended parents stop giving money unconditionally and instead require adult children to attend financial counseling and submit budgets before offering any assistance.
He also suggested reframing responses to guilt-driven appeals. If they say, “Your granddaughter might go to bed without dinner, tell them to send her over to your place for a good, homecooked meal," Ramsey wrote.
He emphasized providing support only when it encourages long-term financial responsibility, not dependency.
Ramsey Warns Parents About Enabling Adult Children And Financial Dependency
Ramsey delivered tough love on The Ramsey Show last week, emphasizing that parental enabling can prevent adult children from developing responsibility.
One caller asked for help with her 19-year-old son, who had dropped out of college, worked part-time at Walmart, and lived at home without paying bills, despite earning $14 an hour and receiving $10,000 in dividends.
Ramsey pressed the mother on why she had not instilled a work ethic earlier, while co-host Dr. John Delony noted the teen's minimal responsibility was unsurprising since his parents covered most expenses.
Both hosts stressed that the problem was parental enabling, not poor money management, and advised setting firm boundaries to encourage accountability.
In July, A caller shared that her father held his daughters responsible for his money troubles, leading Ramsey to advise parents to establish practical limits and avoid burdening their children with unaffordable student loans.
Another caller reported adult children earning $180,000 annually, yet living paycheck to paycheck and relying on loan forgiveness.
Ramsey warned that bailing them out reinforces bad habits and suggested his "matching program" as a healthier approach to teaching financial responsibility.
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