A pregnant stay-at-home mom recently called into “The Ramsey Show” to ask whether she should pay off a $20,000 car loan. But what started as a budgeting question quickly turned into a deeper discussion about addiction, money control and safety in the home.
Ramsey And Warshaw Press The Caller To Face The Real Issue
The caller explained that her husband, who earns their household's entire $156,000 income, spends about $6,000 a year on tobacco and marijuana. She added that recent family deaths have caused his usage to spike to about $700 last month alone. “Things are super tight,” she said. “I'm afraid if I do cut a check, pay off the car, and we gain the $600 monthly to help with groceries and other bills, it's just going to go out the window.”
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Host Dave Ramsey didn't dance around the issue. “If I was to say that my wife was an addict, that would mean that our marriage was either getting ready to end or she was getting help next week,” he said. “But you use this like it's part of the budget.”
He challenged the caller's description of her husband as an addict, pointing out that she allows him full access to their joint account where his paycheck is deposited. “If you’re going to call him an addict, you’re going to have to act like it,” he said. “If he drinks a six-pack of beer or whatever … and he’s not drunk and it’s not affecting his work life, but you don’t like it, that’s different than an addict.”
Co-host Jade Warshaw jumped in, asking whether this is a budgetary thing or an actual addiction?
The caller insisted that her husband says he wants to get help, but “the come to Jesus talk happens about every two weeks.”
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When the caller shared more numbers—a $3,400 mortgage, a $600 car payment, and two $3,900 paychecks hitting their account each month—Ramsey wasn't convinced by her claim that they couldn't afford groceries. “You are not out of food because he spent 750 bucks,” he said. “Now, you are going to be out of food if he loses his job because he stays drunk all the time.”
According to Ramsey, the bigger issue wasn’t whether or not to pay off the car, but whether her family was in a safe and financially stable environment. “You’re either going to have to reclassify this in your mind or you’re going to have to take some more severe action than you have been willing to take so far,” he said.
Warshaw and Ramsey both urged her to seek marriage counseling and make a straightforward decision: either treat the problem like an addiction and act accordingly, or stop labeling it as one. Ramsey ended the call bluntly: “I can’t tell what the flip’s going on here.”
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