So Jared Kushner's father might buy the Marlins?
As in the Trump Kushner's?
As in the White House Trumps?
Wait until "Saturday Night Live" gets its joke writers on this: Who thought 1.2 million fans would actually fit in Marlins Park? All-Star voting fraud _ sad! And "Immigration Night": Marketing genius or law-enforcement trap?
But let's back up. First, Forbes reported Thursday morning that the Marlins had a "handshake deal" with a New York real-estate developer for $1.6 billion. Then ESPN reported Charles Kushner, Ivanka Trump's father-in-law, might be part of that deal. Or not. Maybe he's in a deal of his own. Or something.
Here's what isn't fake news: Jeffrey Loria has a "For Sale" sign on the Marlins. Finally. Thankfully. Spring is a time for hope in baseball, and there's no more hopeful story than Loria selling the Marlins and hurrying his thickened wallet out of town.
Does anyone in South Florida unite fans more in disdain?
Has any sports owner profited more from taking more and giving less?
And could anyone do a worse job than Loria in running the Marlins?
That last question was asked around town Thursday, and you can see why, considering how many baseball fans would rather jab sharp objects in their eyes than watch a Loria-owned team.
But whether anyone could do a worse job with the Marlins than Loria isn't what you should be asking today. This is: Will the next owner do a better job running the Marlins than Loria?
The answer doesn't start with a belly laugh. It starts with a word to all you fans out there saying you'd run back to watching the Marlins on the day Loria sells the team.
No, you won't.
You're deluding yourself. You didn't run back when H. Wayne Huzienga sold the Marlins, when the won the 2003 World Series with minimal roster change or when they built a new stadium.
The only way for the Marlins to be successful is the only way out for the area's other under-attended team, the Panthers, too. They have to go on a sustained run of success. Not a month. Not a season. Sustained, meaning several seasons.
This is why Loria selling the team only gets the Marlins halfway there. The other half is they need an owner who knows what he's getting into and has money to invest beyond the sales price in the manner Steve Ross did for the Dolphins.
Quit dreaming, Marlins fans. The New York developer in the Forbes report isn't Ross, a source said.
But Ross throws money at the Dolphins in a way few others do in sports. Quick example: He privately funded the new Dolphins stadium; the San Diego Chargers moved to Los Angeles because their owner wouldn't do the same.
Loria, of course, got a $600 million stadium paid for by public money with the politicians' backing. Give him backhanded credit for that. He did what Huizenga and Henry couldn't.
He also blundered through his meddling baseball decisions in a manner that ruined any chance for the new stadium to change the team's course. So now the team won't change. The owner will. Just as he planned all along.
He won't have to pay back the public coffers for selling too early after the stadium deal. The big money in Giancarlo Stanton's ($25 million to $32 million annually for a decade) doesn't hit until 2018. And he'll bask in the warmth of the All-Star applause this summer.
At least as long as he's not introduced to local fans.
Loria bought the Marlins for $158 million in 2002 in a sweetheart deal set up by commissioner Bud Selig to help Boston and Washington. He then got a free stadium. Now he'll get obscenely rich with a sale. That's how sports work in America.
The question, for now, is who buys the team. A Kushner? A New York developer? We'll see. The first order of business is to get the deal done and get Loria out of town.
