To say dating has changed significantly in the last couple of decades would be an understatement. It didn’t use to be whether you met someone “in person” or “online”– you had to engage, approach, and be brave to find a date! The “old” way of meeting in person still has its advantages - you know right away if you have chemistry and whether you’re attracted to them - but the dating pool is limited and shy people have it the hardest. This probably doesn’t sound too foreign to most of you, but in our world of online dating, it’s less and less common.
Nowadays it’s the opposite – the possibilities are limitless, but that chemistry and connection seem harder to come by. We filter people out even before we’ve said a word to them. We do it so casually that we scroll the apps to pass time, with zero worry about social anxiety or what your church group thinks of you or any of that “pressure” that comes with normal community connections. Dating apps are individualized and compartmentalized, which can be great for introverts like me who struggle in social circles, but not so great for people who thrive in community.
All this to say, for better or worse, dating apps are here to stay. Researchers estimate that a whopping 61% of couples met online in 2024. And these apps are aplenty. From Christian dating apps to matchmaking sites for Star Trek fans (yes they exist!) to apps that match you based on what you love and what you even what you hate, there’s a platform for every niche and every possible love angle.
But due to this plethora of opportunity, online dating can be a real crapshoot and it can be tricky to figure out the best way to approach it so that your dating life can be both successful and fun.
Here’s the top 5 things to consider when navigating through the world of online dating:
- Be up-front with your intentions
There’s nothing more frustrating than going out on a date with someone, catching feelings, trying to move it to the next level and – oops! – they were never interested in anything serious in the first place! Why didn’t they just communicate that up front rather than waste your time and energy? Don’t wait for them to tell you - be proactive and tell them what you’re looking for before setting yourself up for heartbreak and disappointment. You can thank me later.
- Choose the right app
Every app has its place, but not every app is fit for purpose. If you’re not LGBTQ and you’re on Grinder, you’re likely not going to find what you’re looking for. Likewise if you’re not Muslim and you’re using Muzz, you’re going to feel like a fish out of water.
But it’s not even the obvious niches – it’s worth doing research and finding out which app works for you. Tinder, for example, tends to be for hookups, while Hinge claims to be for more long-term relationships. Find what works for you and give it your all!
- Create a good dating profile
When you’re interested in someone in-person, you can be dressed in normal clothes and say just a few words but still appear attractive to them (although making an effort can still go a long way!) Online you don’t get that same experience, you just see what’s on someone’s profile, which they’ve had to intentionally set up themselves. You can be the most amazing person ever, but if people don’t know that because you haven’t put a good picture of yourself or written something that speaks to your personality, how will people see you for who you are? And in a world where there’s literally millions of profiles out there, what makes yours stand out enough for someone to “swipe right”?
Creating a good dating profile is about having recent, clear, and attractive photos. You want some insight into your personality - a preview of your sense of humor and values. A good profile is honest, engaging, and states what you’re looking for in a partner. This is your shop window – put yourself in the shoes of your “customer” and ask yourself: what would I like to see in a dating profile? Be positive, avoid cliches, and don’t overshare. Profile creation is an art, but an important one, and worth experimenting with.
- Be safe
I remember back in the early 00’s when my mom was worried about who I was talking to online. I couldn’t imagine someone would want to take advantage of me over AOL instant messenger or while playing Call of Duty (although I’m sure it happened!). But in recent years, online safety has become more and more of an issue, with a stark rise in not just scammers but sexual predators, cyberbullies, and identity thieves, to name a few. These are people who prey on the vulnerable, and what better way than a fake profile on a dating app?
Being vigilant online is more important now than ever. Use common sense: don’t give out your contact details without having a video call first and establishing that they are who they say they are. Ignore requests for money. Meet in public if you’re going on an in-person date. And for goodness sake - prioritize your mental health through it all!
- Remain open to a real-life connection
Dating apps can be an amazing resource for finding people – so much so that you might catch yourself scrolling on a dating app while sitting on a barstool at your local pub - there might just be someone amazing if you’d just lift up your head! It’s true that dating apps have become the default way to find someone, but don’t cut off any real-life opportunities either – that method has worked for generations and clearly gets results!
The allure of dating is the ease in which you can start seeing potential matches, but they’re only as good as the effort you put into them. So use them wisely. Be intentional, choose the right app, prioritize your safety, and be authentic in your profile. This is the best way to keep dating apps fun and stress-free so you can date with less anxiety and more success.
