“Fame! I want to live for ever...” as the famous theme song goes.
Well, not after seeing this I don’t.
The cast, including Hollyoaks’ Jorgie Porter, throw their all into it but the touring stage version of the classic hit movie and TV series ultimately lets them down.
There are standout moments, memorably Mica Paris’s show-stopping solo These Are My Children and Stephanie Rojas, as troubled Carmen, who is the most talented performer here and surely set for great things in the West End.
The set, with a yearbook-like gallery of student headshots, and simple but imaginative staging bring early 1980s Manhattan to life.
The fact is, though, musical theatre and the wider world have moved on to another place entirely since Leroy, Coco, Bruno and Doris trod the boards at the New York High School for the Performing Arts on screen during the Reagan era.
In theatreland, School of Rock now sets the bar for this genre, and although a handful of the cast perform instruments live, including the talented all-rounder Simon Anthony as pianist Schlomo and trumpeter Goody, played by Alexander Zane, they’re not the virtuosos that those kids in the classroom band are.
You also only get a fleeting sense of backstories in Fame The Musical — other shows, even comedies, peel back many more layers.
The result is a sugar-coated first half that a grittier (though not gritty enough) second half cannot salvage.
Yes, it’s supposed to be dated, but this hasn’t aged as well as the Rocky Horror Picture Show, and if you’re going to stay true to 1980-84, dropping Dr Dre’s name in a rap is going to jar.
Above all, though, the inescapable truth is that the real world has moved on irreconcilably from this moment-in-time cocoon.
There was no X Factor, no Britain’s Got Talent, no American Idol when the original Fame came about.
The Bristol Hippodrome show opens with a quote all fans of the TV show will know: “You want fame? Well, fame costs.
“And right here is where you start paying… in sweat.”
Except that’s no longer true, is it. Instant fame is attainable at the click of a finger.
Today, all it takes is a “You’ve got four yeses” from a TV talent show judging panel.
Sorry, Fame the Musical, but it’s a “no” from me.
Fame the Musical is at Bristol Hippodrome until Saturday, June 15.
Tickets from £16.90 are available at www.fameuktour.co.uk, www.atgtickets.com/Bristol or by phoning 0844 871 3012. Calls cost 7p per minute, plus your phone company's access charge.
