Darren Bent

"I Tawt I Taw A Black Cat," says Darren 'Tweety Pie' Bent in Luke McCarthy's spiffing effort Photograph: n/a

Here's Tel Stupple: "Harry unveils the 'trouble and strife' as his new striker, meanwhile Darren fumes as his entire career fits in the 140 character limit on Twitter." Photograph: n/a

Rich Green has been rifling through his 80s record collection for this gem Photograph: n/a

"It seems some of the other players in the Bent transfer saga have Twitter accounts too," tweets Thomas Nycz-Losi Photograph: n/a

"Top Secret information leaked on internet shock! M leaves Miss Moneypenny in charge at N17 to write the D-Notice, and uses his fabled detective skills to detect the culprit," reveals Rob Moline Photograph: n/a

"A breath of fresh air tweets its way to Sunderland," chuckles Brian Corcoran Photograph: n/a

According to Martin Nicholson the truth behind Bent's transfer is more about the retail than the detail. "Do I wanna go Primark? NO. Do I wanna go Matalan? NO. Do I wanna go TK Maxx? YES. So stop messing around Levy!" Photograph: n/a

"'Arry, has he pissed down my shirt?' 'No, he's been pissing in my ear for the last six weeks,'" guffaws Henry York Photograph: n/a

"Darren’s Twitter-sponsored kick up the arse was exactly what Daniel Levy needed to expedite the move to Sunderland," reckons Paul Morris Photograph: n/a

"Having mastered Twitter, Bent decides to use his new internet skills for some much needed research," says the master of cruel, Mat Owen Photograph: n/a