Age: 50.
Appearance: Shadowy.
Who is he? You may know him better as "El Loco".
I don't. Hmm. "The Madman"?
Is he perhaps the KERRRAZY! star of a beloved Spanish children's programme? Or the eccentric but essentially heartwarming character in a long-running Mexican telenovela who has leagues of adoring fans? Neither, I'm afraid. He's a Colombian drug lord. In fact, he's the Colombian drug lord's Colombian drug lord.
In that case, I'd like to declare that my former answer was a genuine mistake and that in no way did I mean to be in the slightest measure disrespectful. No mockery, ridicule or any other form of levity was intended. Calm down. He's just been arrested.
Oh, thank God! How did that happen? I thought that sort of chap was pretty elusive. El Loco's 20-year criminal career has been curtailed by an international sting involving the Colombian and Venezuelan police forces, the CIA and MI6. The president of Colombia announced the arrest on TV, saying: "The last of the great capos has fallen."
The last? Really? Political hyperbole, perhaps? His capture tops off a year of successes. Kingpin of the cocaine-trafficking business, Diego Perez Henao, was caught in June and the equally powerful Maximilian Bonilla Orozco, who had a $5m US bounty on his head, was arrested last November.
That is muy, muy bueno. Barrera's arrest will hinder the violent activities of those he funded – namely Farc.
Who are? The country's longest-running, largest and – amid some stiff competition – most dangerous rebel group: the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia.
That does not yield the acronym Farc. It does in the original Spanish.
Fair point. Well, isn't that marvellous! The drug war is over and the good guys won. Alas, the international drug trade was not entirely stitched up by these three arrests. There is still much to be done, especially as Peru is due to overtake Colombia as the world's largest producer of cocaine.
There's always something, isn't there? There is. Here, try this white powder – it'll take your mind off things.
Do say: "Barrera escaped from his Colombian prison eight months after his first arrest in 1990. I wouldn't sleep too soundly yet."
Don't say: "What's Charlie Sheen going to do now?"
